Merry Xmas Ryan Atwood
by swenglish
Summary: Christmas is just around the corner and everybody is busy with the holiday preparations and final exams. But what happens when problems arise and Ryan suddenly falls ill? Chapters are updated.
1. Default Chapter

Search the web with Hotbot Try Blogging for FREE

Here comes a new story from me. First I would like to thank famous99 and Joey51 for beta reading. Without them this wouldn't have been possible. Thank you so very much, you have no idea how great you guys are :) swenglish 

Disclaimer: I don't own anything OC related. 

References: A little from "The Chrismukkah That Almost Wasn't", but mostly my own stuff. Oh and some previous episodes is refered to here and there..nothing big. 

And now on to the story... 

Merry X-mas Ryan Atwood - Chapter 1 

The library was filled with activity, as students studied for final exams and finished up papers that were due the next day, the day before the holidays. Christmas was just around the corner and unlike all other years, Ryan was actually looking forward to this season. He would be able to spend it with a family that cared about him and share it with friends. They would eat delicious food and share presents with each other, then afterwards, enjoy almost two weeks of vacation, which meant that he would be able to take it easy and rest. He planned on sleeping in late since right now he was so tired that he was having a hard time holding his head up. 

He and Lindsay had been putting final touches on the physic assignment all of the previous week, and it hadn't been easy since there were a lot of other subjects that he also had to study for with exams right around the corner. Seth had exclaimed that Ryan was starting to take this nerdiness too far, always hanging with his head in a school book. 

Yet he didn't care! 

What did Seth Cohen know about life? He, who had everything set and the day he wanted to get a job he could work at any firm he wanted. Being wealthy and powerful had its advantages and that was something Ryan had found out the hard way when he had worked as a construction worker. Since he didn't come from a wealthy family, he knew that the only way he could make it in the world was if he applied himself and used his brain to its fullest potential, which his teacher told him would be one of his assets in life. 

He'd come to realize that living in Chino was not what he wanted out of life, that was for sure, and that also meant that he had to put a lot more effort into school than he had previously done. Normally physics never proved to be a problem, but today he didn't seem to grip the situation at all. 

Luckily for him Lindsay, the girl who he'd spent last Saturday night with, freezing at the bus stop, seemed to, have a good handle on things. She was writing down answers and correcting what they had written down, completely absorbed in her work. Secretly, Ryan wondered if she had ever had a life – or if she'd ever been out partying, had a boyfriend. All she ever talked about was school and how she would make something out of herself some day – how she would be reckoned and successful. At first Ryan had thought that she was really shallow, but as he started to talk to her, he really started to like her and now, just one week later, she was considered his girlfriend. Or at least the girl he was dating for the moment. 

Biting on the tip of his pencil, Ryan did his best to take a stab at the task in front of him especially since the study hall hour would be soon over and he had to get back to class again. He couldn't wait for this day to end since an ugly headache was constantly luring in the back of his head and his eyes stung badly from being much too tired. Hiding a yawn behind the back of his hand, he decided that a break was what he needed as well as a breath of fresh air. It was much too stuffy in the room and standing up, he noticed that his joints were all stiff from sitting down for so long. He was doing his best to work out the kinks in his back when Lindsay looked up at him. 

"You going somewhere?" 

Forcing a smile on his face, Ryan mumbled, "Just need a breath of fresh air. I'm gonna go outside for a while. You wanna come with me?" 

She looked at him for a moment, like she was deciding whether or not he really wanted her to come along, then her face lit up in a big smile. "Let's go down to the cafeteria and get a cup of coffee and a bagel. I didn't eat much during lunch and I know you didn't either." 

Ryan groaned inwardly. That was true. He hadn't eaten much, but he assumed that it was because he was nervous for exams, besides he still felt full from breakfast and another cup of coffee was not what he nor his stomach needed right now. A bit of fresh air would have suited much better. Lindsay obviously thought otherwise, and before he knew what hit him, she had grabbed him by his arm and was guiding him toward the cafeteria. 

This whole "dating -a-new-girlfriend-thing" was a new situation for Ryan, and the girls he'd been dating in the past, besides Theresa and Marissa, hadn't been long time girlfriends and often they were just girls he'd sleep with. When he'd mentioned this to Seth, the poor guy had nearly choked on his cereal, but that was how it was and Ryan wasn't exactly proud of his past. In Newport, Marissa was the only girl he could call a girlfriend. No one else had touched his heart in the same way that was until Lindsay turned up on the scene. 

"And then I told him that you have to put a dot there or else it would look really stupid and we would totally flunk test, but did he listen? No, he…." 

Lindsay was rambling on about a test-gone-wrong but to tell the truth, Ryan wasn't exactly listening to what she was saying. Instead, he concentrated hard on holding his eyes open and desperately hoped that the Cup of coffee he held in his hands would do the trick. Lindsay, however talked about anything and everything, in the same way that Seth used to do, while Ryan quietly listened – or pretended to do so. It was a rather harmless game and so far neither Seth, nor Lindsay, had caught him and for now he felt comfortable enough to go on. 

Listening to her talk about how she managed to get a teacher to change his verdict on a paper that she'd handed in, because someone else had made a mistake could be charming. But not on a day when he felt like his skull was ready to blow to pieces. 

"Ryan! Have you been listening to a word I've said?" There was accusation in her voice. 

Upon recognising her annoyance, he quickly responded, "Sure I have." Smiling back, a bit apologetically, he went on. "Sorry, I didn't get to bed until way past midnight and I'm totally beat today." 

The look in her eyes told him that she didn't believe him. "You sure that's all there is? I'm not boring you am I?" Before Ryan had a chance to give an answer, Lindsay answered it herself. "Yes I am. I'm so boring." As if the truth had just struck her, she covered her face with her hands. "Oh God, here I'm talking about myself again. How embarrassing!" 

Feeling that this was another awkward situation, like most other situations he'd been involved in with Lindsay, he said with a reassuring tone, "Don't beat yourself up over it." He placed his arms around her shoulders in an protective hug. "It's not you. Like I've said before, I'm a bit tired right now. That's all. It's not your fault." To his relief, she looked up at him and he took the opportunity to tell her a little white lie. 

"It's actually pretty interesting plus I'm sure it will help us while doing the paper." 'Please, don't let me have said too much,' he begged, but one look from Lindsay told him that he had. 

"No, it won't, and obviously you don't think so either." 

At that very moment, Ryan just felt like getting up and leaving. What was it with him and girls who always complicated stuff? 

"Lindsay, I would love to listen, it's just that we have to finish this paper or we will flunk." He could have bit his tongue off after saying those words. Her face told him that they had been completely out off line. 

"Are you making fun of me?" 

"No. No." Ryan was definitely ready to leave. Why was she misinterpreting everything he said? Drawing his breath, he waited for all hell to break loose, like it always did with the girls he dated. 

Much to his surprise, she laughed. 

"I know, I'm the one being stupid. I'm the one holding you up when we have so many things we have to do." She looked down. "I don't know what's the matter with me today; I'm a bit testy." Once again she answered her own question, "I think it can be Christmas, you know? Holidays make me really nervous, and when I get nervous over something, I talk." She giggled. "You know, Ryan, I'm really nervous about spending Christmas at your house." 

Feeling bad for her, Ryan put his arm around her shoulders. "I know it can be tough but this time you don't have to be alone. You've got us." He wiped away a string of hair from her forehead. "You've got me." 

He didn't wait for a response, but she gave him a brief kiss on his cheek. "Thank you." Her eyes lit up like the sun. 

Lindsay, constantly changing her mind, made Ryan shift uneasily on the sofa. One minute she was nice then she was mad then she became embarrassed only to be mad again and then nice and now cuddly. There seemed to be no limit to the amount of moods she could go through. She was even worse than Summer, and if she hadn't confused him before she sure as hell was doing it now. 

Feeling like they had sat down too long Ryan felt restless. Standing up he said, "Listen, I think that we've better get going and finish up that paper, I have a class in less than half an hour and it would be great if we could read through the last part before then." 

"Okay. You're right, besides I don't think that there's much left anyway." Smiling, she made a move to take his hand. "Come on, let's get back to work then." 

Ryan gently pulled his hand away. "Listen, there's something I've gotta do before I can join up with you." 

"Oh." She looked a bit hurt. 

"Don't worry, I'll catch up with you." He was already on his way towards the door. 

"Okay, I'll go back to the library. Don't take too long," she shouted back at him. He could hear disappointment in her voice. 

"I won't. Be right back." Quickly he walked hurried down the corridor. Thing's was happen too fast and he needed desperately to get some space, or else he feared he would choke from all the emotions Lindsay stirred up inside him. She was pushing things too fast. Maybe he was too, and now he was starting to get cold feet. 

There was also another pressing matter at stake and with that he set his steps toward the restroom. After tending to his business Ryan went over to the sink and turned on the tap. Looking into the mirror he saw that he had dark bags under his eyes and his pale complexion didn't exactly match the California sun outside. Not that the weather was great today, no, it was actually a bit on the chilly side for this side of the west coast. As he was pulling a piece of paper from the dispenser, a sudden pang of pain shot through his stomach. 

"Shit!" Gasping, he grabbed both hands against his stomach , doubling up he sank down on the tiled floor. "Fuck that hurt." He was seeing stars, that was so bad the pain was. Closing his eyes he was doing his best to rid his head of the treacherous dizziness, and for a moment he feared that he would actually pass out. 

"You okay, dude?" One of the stall doors opened and a red-haired student with chopped hair and freckles, stuck out his head. His gaze settled on Ryan, folded up on the floor, "What's the matter? You sick or somethin'?" 

Swallowing, Ryan blinked hard. The pain had passed somewhat and no longer felt like a glowing hot poke was stabbing him in his stomach and back. "I'm fine," he mumbled through gritted teeth, and why doing his best to stand up another seer of pain struck him. 

"Fuck!" 

"Dude, you don't look too good. You want me to get someone? A teacher? The nurse?" The student walked over to him. 

"No. No. It's all right. I'm fine." Ryan shook his head frenetically. 

"You sure?" 

"I told you it's nothing. Just a bit of a stomach ache." The pain had almost disappeared now. "Probably just something I ate. Or maybe it is the flu. No biggie." Shrugging off the helping hand the red-head provided, Ryan did his best to stand up on his own, this time with the help of the sink. It didn't succeed very well and he sank down on the floor again, groaning. 

"The flu, man? That sucks. Being Christmas and all." 

" Yeah tell me about it, but that's usually my luck; Having a shitty Christmas.." Ryan smiled crookedly, at his own comment. 

"Flu can be a bitch, I know," the student laughed at the wise crack, but then said with symphathy in his tone as he could see that Ryan was clearly struggling to sit up. . "You sure you don't want me to get someone then? You need anything?" 

"No I'm all right." Ryan shook his head to prove his point. 

"Okey." The red-headed kid didn't look too convinced and instead he walked over by the sink, filling up the paper cup with water. "At least take this." He handed the paper cup to Ryan. "You look like you need it. Hell, you're grey in your face." 

"Thanks." Gratefully Ryan drowned the water cup. It felt so good the way the cool water ran down his parched throat. It made him feel better and his energy was starting to return too. The stomach ache was practically gone now, as was the dizziness he'd felt. 

"That's better. Now you don't look like a freakin' ghost anymore." The kid studied him. "Hey you're that guy from Chino, ain't you? The ones that's staying at the Cohen's place. Seth Cohen's?" 

"Mmm. You know him?" This was not someone Ryan had expected Seth to be acquaintance with. 

"Sure. Everyone knows Seth Cohen. His family is the richest here in Newport. His grandpa owns everything." As if the student was suddenly reminded off something he said in a hasty tone, "Shit. I gotta get going. Class you know?" 

"Okay, and thanks for helping me out." The words were sincere. Ryan had no idea what he would have done if this guy hadn't been here to help him. 

"No prob. You sure you can handle it by yourself now?" 

"Yeah." 

"Okay. Take care man. See ya." With that he was off and out of the door. 

The moment he was alone, Ryan let out a breath that he hadn't even been aware he'd been holding. Since he felt tons better now he did another attempt to stand and this time it worked out fine. After washing his face he did his best to compose his posture, even if he still felt a bit iffy after that sudden and unexpected attack. 

It was so strange. 

One moment he was fine, the next he doubled over in pain. The bout had disappeared as quickly as it came and with a gentle touch he felt around his sore stomach. All that was left was a dull ache in his lower back as well as an infinitive feeling in his stomach. But nothing worse that he couldn't handle. 

'Maybe it really was something I ate,' Ryan thought as he wiped his face off with the paper towel. ' Or had way too many cups of coffee today...or just maybe my life is finally catching up with me. Making me feel this shitty.' Whatever it was, he was happy that it had dissipated, and after making sure he was as presentable as he could be, Ryan walked back to the study hall again, determined not to tell anyone about this little incident. He was fine now, and that was all that mattered. 


	2. Merry Xmas Ryan Atwood Chapter 2

Search the web with Hotbot Try Blogging for FREE

Merry X-mas Ryan Atwood - Chapter 2 

" Oh Noooo….Not again. Not another one" Ryan groaned, as Seth pushed him toward yet another shop. He'd been dragged all over the mall for what seemed like endless hours, going in and out of stores that he'd never even knew existed. If he had known what he'd been in for when Seth had asked if he'd join him on a shopping expedition to buy "Christmukkah" presents", he would have declined. 

"Just this one, please. I promise this will be the last one." Seth begged, then pouted with his lip. 

Not buying his brothers pitifull look, Ryan reminded him, ""You said the same thing like an hour ago." 

"I know. It's because I haven't found anything to buy yet," Seth sighed. Looking at his friend with a pleading tone he went on, "It won't take long." 

"Whatever." Ryan stuck his hands in his pockets. "Just make it fast, okay?" 

"I will, don't worry." With those words Seth rushed into yet another store while Ryan stayed outside, leaning casually against the shop window. Looking at his watch, ten minutes later, he thought that Seth was really taking his time. Usually this would not have been too big of a problem but today, Ryan wasn't feeling his best. His stomach still felt a bit uneasy and the headache he'd been nursing all day had only gotten worse. It would probably reach at least an eight on the Richter Scale. It didn't help that there was a Christmas rush at the mall and there were people everywhere, pushing to get into lines and buying all kinds of gift. All the activity was making him dizzy. 

Looking up he saw Seth staring at him with concern in his eyes. 

"Um..Uh yeah." Ryan draw a shaky breath. "I was spacing out I guess." God, he'd spaced out so many times that day, that he'd lost count. 

"Okay.." Seth looked like he didn't believe him. "I talked to you and you acted like you didn't hear a thing I've said. Either I was boring you badly or something's wrong." He paused for a second. "Come to think of it you looked like you might pass out there for a while. You sure you're all right?" 

"Yeah. Yeah I'm fine. It's nothing, just a bit stuffy in here. Lots of people you know." Ryan smiled weakly to prove his point. 

"Tell me about it." Seth immediately picked up the topic. "I've been standing in line for what seems like forever, waiting for a clerk to come and help me, and what do you know; no one shows up." Annoyed he continued with his declaration that female clerks had no sympathy for men that were trying to get gifts for their girlfriends…" 

The last word had Ryan pick up his ears. " Girlfriends? So this is what it's all about. You're getting a gift for Alex?" 

"Alex? No!" There was disgust in Seth's tone. "Do I look like the guy that she would be dating? Be serious, will ya. This is me, Seth Cohen, not some kind of freak that got tatooes all over his arms." He shook his head, "No no..that's a definitive no." 

"Then what?" Ryan was having a hard time following Seth, nothing unusual there, but today more so than ever. 

"I'm getting it for…" Seth bit his lip nervously. 

"Huh?" 

"Getting a gift for Summer!" 

Ryan raised his eyebrows. "Summer? But, she's not your girlfriend, Seth. She's with Zack, if you haven't forgotten that. 

"Oh, hit a man when his down, won't ya'." Seth made a face. "Don't you think I know that? Heeeeelllooooo!!! If you haven't forgotten, I'm the one that dated her on and off for the past year!" 

"Uh huh…how could I forget something like that?" Ryan's voice dripped with sarcasm. 

It was all Seth talked about for months. At first he'd thought it was funny, then it became boring, only to end up annoying him so much that there were times when Ryan could have given him a shiner in an attempt to shut him up. But no such thing's occurred. To him Seth was much more important, and he tolerated hearing endless monologues about how fantastic this girl was for days and nights. 

Ignoring that last comment Seth, sighed. "I know… I know. God don't you think I know that she's Zacks now and that I have lost her forever?" He ran his hand through his hair in a desperate gesture. "After all, she's the one that I've been dreaming of for practically my whole life...Ever since I was a toddler." 

Ryan frowned. "A toddler?" 

"Okay, maybe not since I was a toddler…but at least since fifth grade." Seth held up his hands in defeat. "Oh you know what I mean." 

"Yeah, but what does that have to do with everything?" His brother's words could really tire him out sometimes. 

"Even tough she isn't my girlfriend _anymore _, I still want to get her something so that she is reminded of what a great guy I can be and that I'm not the one that is upset at her dating other guys." 

"But you **are **upset." 

"I'm not." 

"Yes you are. Ever since you came back you've been talking about how she and Zack have been dating and now you're just trying to get her back again." Suddenly Ryan felt very tired. "That's not a fair call and you know it." 

Seth, never getting really upset, thought for a while before nodding. "Point taken my friend, but since she and Marissa will be spending Christmukkah, Christmas eve that is, over at our house, I think that I need to come up with something special for her. The great guy that I am. This, by the way is why I need you, my brother, and womanizer." he pointed at Ryan who rolled his eyes. 

Ignoring this gesture Seth went on. "I need you to come and help me to find the ideal gift for her." 

"Me?" Ryan shook his head. "And here I thought you were trying to find something nice for your mom and dad." There were a mixture of disappointment and irritation in his tone. 

"You did? Oh don't worry; I'll get them something too. But first I need to focus on finding Summer a "never forget me Christmukkah present." 

"And'never-forget-presents' don't come easy as we all know." Glancing down at his watch again, Ryan sighed, "So how long are you planning of staying here then? Until tomorrow?" 

"Tomorrow? Gawd no." Seth shook his head. "Actually let's get to some more stores and then we call it a day. Is that okay with you?" 

"Sure. It's been a long day though and I've got plenty of stuff to do at home, so don't take too long. You know, gotta study for that last pre-cal test for tomorrow." 

"Pre-cal Yuck! How can you even do that thing?" 

"Don't have much choice, besides it's not that bad." Feeling that they were totally off topic, which happened all the time with Seth, Ryan went on. "So, should we get going then? So we can go home sometime in the near future?" He knew that he was pressing on, but truthfully, his legs and back hurt from walking around all afternoon and now all he wanted to do was to get back to the house and take a nap before it was time to get on with his studies. 

Seth, always having flare for drama, feigned a hurt expression. "Here I've asked you to come and spend some quality time with your own brother Seth Cohen, shopping at the finest store there is for Christmukkah all you've done since we came here beg to go home. This leads me to ask you the ever ending question; Ryan, buddy, what's wrong with you today? " 

"Nothing. Can you just buy that present for Summer now?" 

The last thing Ryan needed right now was Seth finding out that he was feeling a bit sick. If this would turn into a full blown flu, which Ryan suspected by now, it would only lead to that all the Christmukkah celebration, which was the only thing his brother ever talked about these days, would be cancelled and he didn't want to do that to Seth. It would only lead to more people being miserable and that was not something he intended to do. 

" Jeeze….I swear that you're starting to sound like dad." 

"Speaking of Sandy, did you tell your parents that we're staying out late after dinner? 

"Uh huh?" 

"I mean did you call them?" Suddenly Ryan found a brilliant excuse to get home. 

"Yes I did call them." Seth rolled his eyes. " Dude chill out. We're at the mall for crying out loud. It's not like we're at some strip club you know." He giggled at his own comment. "Although that would have been fun, wouldn't it? All these girls with big breast that are just waiting to attack you. It would be so cool and then we could all…" He was totally engrossed in his daydream when Ryan interrupted him. 

"Seth!" 

"Okay, okay. I'll get going…" His brother then rushed into another store. 

More than one hour later, they were still at the mall, much to Ryan's dismay. . His head was pounding something fierce, and he was so tired that he felt like a walking zombie. Even though Seth had promised it would be the last store they went into, Seth had dragged him around to all these designer's stores, where he couldn't even afford a thing. Ryan swore that if he'd known how many stores they were going to visit, he would have ended this shopping spree a long time ago. 

"What do you think of this then?" Ryan held up a triangle shape bottle of perfume. "You think Summer will like this?" He'd decided to help his brother out with the purchase so they would be able to finally leave the store. Seth was showing just as much disinterest as he did now and he had no idea why they were going on with this charade. 

"Put that bottle down. I've got something to show you." Seth's face suddenly lit up. "Come on let's get out off here." 

This action was unexpected, and feeling too tired to object Ryan did as he was told and followed Seth to what he thought was yet another store. To his surprise he noticed that his brother was leaving the mall and that they soon turned onto a side street. For the first time that day Ryan actually felt curious as to what Seth had in mind. 

"Where are you dragging me to now?" 

"You wait and see." Seth grinned. "I just came up with the ideal gift for Summer, as well as for myself." 

Frowning Ryan was just about to ask where they were heading when his brother stopped in front of a small shop where "The Cartoon shop" was written with crooked letters. 

"I wanna check out if they have the 1977 issue of Superman. That and '79 are the only issues I'm missing and when I called them earlier, and they said that they might get a batch before Christmas. Some old dude was going to sell the comics and I would really like to get my hands on that," Seth informed him, before stepping inside. 

The Cartoon shop was a small, and didn't look like much from the outside, but was packed with comic books from the inside. The shop was old and the air was a bit on the stuffy side, and it smelled like mould, but that didn't seem to bother the owner off the shop, an old man with a white beard as well as the rest of the guys that did seek their retreat to his ocean of fantasy. 

But what caught Ryan's eye was the way Seth strolled into the store, acting like he practically owned the place, saluting each and every one by their name. The owner looked very pleased to see the youngest member of the Cohen clan walk through the door. This got Ryan thinking that his brother was one of their more frequent costumers and was probably one of the people that had purchased a lot in the past. 

"Hi Seth, I'm so glad to see you. It's been a long time seen you last visited us." 

"Well I've been kind off busy." 

"Girls?" The old man smiled a toothless grin. 

"Eh..Yeah." Seth blushed, and then he motioned towards Ryan, "I want you to meet my brother. Ryan…Ryan Atwood." 

"So you're Ryan." The old man shook his hand slowly. "Seth has been talking so much about you." 

Feeling a bit awkward over the attention he had suddenly attracted, Ryan cleared his voice, "Hi, well then we are two…" He smiled. "Seth has been talking about you too." 

The man chuckled. "Yes, I bet." Then he turned towards Seth, who was just standing there in silence, apparently enjoying the atmosphere. "Seth, you have to come and see here what I've got for you," the owner said, waving with his hand towards the back of the store. 

"Oh my God don't say that it's the 1977 issue of Superman!" Seth's voice was thrilled with delight. "You have no idea how much I wanted to see Superman fight against Goliath like he did in the October issue of that year." He kept rambling, which left Ryan smiling. His brother looked like a small kid stuck in a candy store. It was the total contrast to how he'd been acting before and Ryan decided that he'd seldom seen him so happy and relaxed. 

"Can Ryan come too?" Seth asked quickly, but Ryan felt it was better to stay in the store. Shaking his head he mumbled, "Nah you go on, I'll wait out here." 

"Okay." His brother stopped for a moment. "Ryan?". 

"What?" 

"You're not leaving, are you?" 

Surprised over this sudden comment, Ryan frowned. "Leaving? No, why? 

"Nothing, just wondering." Satisfied with that answer, Seth went off with the older man, leaving Ryan, sitting outside on a wooden chair, all alone. He shook his head. There were some things he could never seem to figure out. Seth seemed to alternate between being extremely self-confident and the exact opposite. It was as if he was a kid one minute and an adult the next. 'Maybe it wasn't so easy growing up in a rich family after all,' Ryan debated while he glanced at a series of comics. But Ryan couldn't concern himself with Seth's problem at the moment. He had his own to worry about. 

The rumbling in his stomach for instance. If he hadn't known better he would have thought it was hunger, but the uneasiness told him something else and his need to find a bathroom suddenly flared up. 

"Excuse me," he said to one of the guys that were totally engrossed in a bunch of comics. 

"Yes?" The skinny youngster looked up. 

"Do you know where I can find the bathroom.?" 

"Sure." The young man pointed towards the back where Seth had left fifteen minutes earlier. "Go in that direction, then turn left and you'll see it further down. Second door on the right. 

"Okay. Thanks man." Not wasting any time, Ryan followed the directions he'd been told and ten minutes later he was back in the store again. Feeling tons better. 

"Where were you?" Seth immediately questioned his whereabouts. This surprised him. It almost seemed like his brother was upset to find him gone upon his return. 

"Just had to hit the can. No big deal." 

Seth looked at him. "I thought you left." 

"Left? Why would I do that?" This was whole conversation was very confusing. 

"I thought that you got tired of me dragging you around all over the place." 

"Um..No I wouldn't do that." Noticing the relief in his friends brown eyes Ryan couldn't help but add, "But I can't say that it has never crossed my mind." 

"I'm sure." Seth let up a wide smile and so did Ryan. All the previous annoyance that they had felt towards each other was gone and was replaced with mutual understanding. After all they were brothers even if they weren't blood relatives. 

Feeling that he had to lighten up the tension in the room Ryan asked, "By the way how did it go? Did you find the comic books you wanted?" 

"Oh yeah." Seth's face lit up like a glowing stick. "I'm getting every magazine from '77 and Bailey here," he patted the old man on his shoulder, "is giving me a good price too. But do you know what the best part is? 

"No?" Ryan frowned, not coming up with any solutions. 

" I found the perfect gift for Summer!" 

"You did?" 

"Yup! Look at this!" Holding out from his back was a worn out copy of a woman with dressed in a red and blue costume with stars "It's an issue of Wonder Woman from 1945." 

Ryan rolled his eyes. "Wonder woman? Why would you give that comic book to Summer?" 

"I have my reasons," Seth said with a wide smile… 


	3. Merry Xmas Ryan Atwood Chapter 3

Search the web with Hotbot Try Blogging for FREE

Thank you so much Joey51 and famous99 for editing for me. Without your skills and friendly heart I have no idea how I would've managed. Thank you :) I also want to thank everyone that have reviewed this story so far, it makes me so happy.

Merry X-mas Ryan Atwood - Chapter 3

"Hey kiddo."

Looking up from his book Ryan nodded slightly at Sandy who entered the kitchen. "Hi," he mumbled before turning his attention to the book again.

"What are you doing?" Sandy asked, opening the refrigerator.

"Pre-calculus. I have the final exam tomorrow."

"Oh that's right; I almost forgot. In any case, I'm sure you'll do great, son." Scanning the shelves Sandy picked up a beer. "You want something? A soda?"

Ryan shook his head, "Nah, that's all right. I'm fine."

"Okay." Taking a swig from his beer, Sandy leaned against the kitchen counter. "So, tell me, how did shopping with Seth go at the mall today?"

Ryan groaned at the mention of the shopping spree. It had been nothing but an disaster and when he'd got back, he was so tired that it felt like he could fall asleep instantly. Yet, he had to force himself to do the homework or he was sure he would flunk tomorrows exam. "Please don't remind me."

"That bad, eh?" Sandy chuckled, taking another swig of his beer.

"Yeah." Ryan sighed. "I had no idea that Newport had that many stores." That was true. Wherever he'd looked there had been stores and just when he thought they were done for the day Seth had dragged him on to yet another one.

"It does. Sometimes I think that all they ever do here is shop. You see…Seth takes after his mother when it comes to shopping. Have you ever heard him say, 'Just one more store, please?'" Sandy mimicked his son's voice fairly well.

"Uh huh." Ryan smiled weakly. "I think I've heard it about a thousand times today. It was terrible."

"I know." Sandy laughed. "Now you can imagine how I have felt all my life. You have no idea how many hours I've killed following those two shopping."

"I can just imagine."

"Well I tell you...even if it's like hell on earth, it's worth enduring, if just to keep the peace around here." Sandy went on, rolling his bottle between his hands.

Ryan nodded. "I guess." He didn't feel very talkative, even if he sensed Sandy was trying to have an conversation with him.

"Anyway," Sandy put his beer bottle on the counter. "I hope you're hungry since we're having barbeque tonight, and the way Kirsten ordered, it's enough meat to feed a whole army."

"Mmm." Ryan forced a smile. "That sounds great. I'm starving." This was nothing but a small lie. Food was the last thing he had on his mind, and it was not high on his list of priorities either. Telling this to Sandy, however, would only cause problems, besides, his own predicament was much too embarrassing to reveal to anyone.The stomach-ache was still there and his gut felt like a boiling kettle. To his embarrassment he had endured several hasty trips to the bathroom all evening, all because of his nerves for the upcoming exam. To say he was hungry would be an overstatement.

"That good." Sandy patted Ryan lightly on his shoulder on his way to the door. "If Kirsten asks where I am, I'm out at the grill."

"Okay." Deep inside Ryan knew that Barbeque food wasn't what his stomach needed, yet he didn't want to spoil Sandy's good mood so, therefore, he held his mask. With a sigh of indifference, Ryan turned his attention back to his books. He didn't get to study long before Kirsten walked into the kitchen.

'God, what is this?' he thought, 'Grand Central Station?'

"Oh there you are," Kirsten smiled. "I've been looking for Seth. You know where he is?"

"No." Ryan shook his head. "I haven't seen him since we came back from the mall. Isn't he in his room reading comic books?"

"I thought so too." Kirsten sat down beside Ryan. "How is the study coming along?"

"Okay." Ryan bit his pen before asking, " You wanted to talk to him about something special?"

"Yeah." Kirsten nodded. "It's about tomorrow night."

"Tomorrow night?" Ryan frowned. "What about tomorrow?"

Kirsten let out a deep sigh before she explained, "Julie called me today and she needs my help. You see she is hosting this Christmas Charity party over at Hoagland ballroom tomorrow night and apparently the firm that is taking care of the practicalities have experienced problems and now she is all stood up. " Kirsten draw a hand through her hair. "She really needs me to help her out."

"Oh." Ryan stopped studying for a moment. He had no idea why she was telling him this and he hoped that it wasn't because she wanted him or Seth to either attend or help her out. Not that he had anything against helping Kirsten, no it was not that, it was more that right now he didn't feel doing anything but study and then go to sleep. Not wanting to act rude he forced a smile on his lips. "That sounds nice."

"Oh I don't know if nice is the right world," Kirsten said, "Anyway I've talked to Sandy and we're going to help her out. That's the least we can do since we're all family and if Julie fails then dad gets dragged along too."

"Okay." Ryan shot her a nervous glance since there wasn't a word if he had to attend or not.

As if she was a mind reader she went on, "You don't have to worry Ryan. You and Seth get to stay home."

Involuntary, Ryan let out a sigh of relief. He didn't have to go. His prayers had been answered. "That sounds cool. I'm sure Seth will be happy too." To his surprise he saw Kirsten put on a worried face.

"Seth, yes." She bit her lip. "I'm not so sure about that. That's actually what I wanted to talk to you about."

"Huh?"

Kirsten had a troubled look on her face. "You see, tomorrow is a very important day for Seth. The day before Christmas eve is the day we always eat together and watch movies and play games. We also decorate the Christmas tree and it's something we've done ever since Seth was a small child. You remember that, don't you? From last year?"

"Mmmm." _If _he'd remembered. That had been everything Seth had talked about for months, that and Christmukkah, and when the day finally arrived he'd been like a kid on Christmas Eve. Seth had been directing what to do, what to eat, what program to watch and what game to play. By the end of the evening Ryan had been so sick and tired of family time that all he wanted to do was to hide out in the pool house. Seth, however was as if he was in heaven.

"I know that he's going to be really disappointed when he finds out that we can't spend this important evening together." Kirsten sighed. "I don't know how to say this to him without hurting his feelings."

Inwardly, Ryan felt like groaning. It was always about Seth. Even if he knew that this was a day that meant a lot for his brother he still felt that Seth often stepped over his boundaries when it came to holidays. But then he came to realize that holidays and tradition was very important for the Cohen's. "Can't you just spill it out to him? I mean Seth is a teen, not a small kid and I'm sure he can handle it."

"I hope so." For a moment Ryan thought that Kirsten would either have a fit or start crying, but then she steeled herself. " Ryan, I know that this is maybe too much to ask but...but I was wondering if you could do something special with him instead."

Ryan frowned. "Like what?" The last thing he wanted to be was Seth's babysitter.

"I don't know…" Kirsten looked troubled. "Maybe you could ask your friends over… and then you can order in pizza, or maybe rent a movie." She was desperately searching for alternatives. "I'm sure you'll think of something."

Ryan didn't have a chance to answer when Seth entered the room.

"Something for what?" The dark boy asked. Looking at his mother and then Ryan, he went on. "What are you talking about? Not me, I hope."

"You wish," Ryan shot back.

"So you were talking about me then. I was right. What gives you the right to talk about me behind my back?" Ryan could see the hurt expression on his brothers face, when Kirsten placed a hand on his shoulder. Calming him down.

"Honey, we were only talking about tomorrow night and –" She didn't have a chance to finish her sentence before Seth interrupted her.

"Ah…good choice of topic, mom" Seth smiled widely. "I have some stuff to say too, and I've been thinking and I know this really great movie that we could watch. It's about this dude who is getting killed by his old grandma who has no head and…."

Ryan listened while Seth was going through all the gory details of the movie and the way this conversation was going he started to become nauseous. His stomach churned, and in an attempt to calm it down he rubbed a hand over his tee. If this went on too long he feared he would have to make an hasty excuse to leave the room again. And it wasn't just because of Seth's rambling.

Kirsten cut him short. "Seth, honey, I've got to tell you something about tomorrow night…."

Obviously not listening to a word his mother said, Seth went on, "Mother, Ryan, I'm sure that you will so love this movie. I know that it might sound crazy with the headless woman and all, but it's really not that bad and I'm pretty sure that each and every one of you will find scenes that you will like. Mom, you and Dad can...."

Ryan could only shake his head at Seth's constant talking. Kirsten, as always, was the one to break into her son's rant.

"Seth!" she demanded.

"What?" Seth looked annoyed over being interrupted.

"There will be no movie tomorrow. At least not with your father and me…."

With a sigh Ryan noticed that Seth didn't catch the drift. Instead his brother went on talking about that they could always rent another movie and maybe that headless one wasn't so great after all.

"Seth!" Once again Kirsten had to cut her son short. "I'm trying to tell you about tomorrow night and you keep interrupting me with all these movies. Will you listen to me for a second?" Ryan could hear the annoyance in her voice.

"But mom…I just want to you to know what I have prepared for this special night and….," Seth pointed at Ryan who looked like he wanted to sink through a hole in the ground, "I'm sure he wants to know too what movies were going to watch. Don't you Ryan?"

Ryan shrugged. Somehow he didn't feel like his opinion was worth very much in this situation.

"There won't be no tomorrow night." Kirsten's words were hard, much harder than she intended too and they could both see the disappointment flare up in Seth's eyes.

"There won't? Why?" Seth raised his voice a knot.

"Julie called and she desperately needs me to co-host her Charity event at the Hogaland ballroom tomorrow and your dad and I will...." Kirsten didn't have a chance to continue; Seth loudly interrupted her.

"Tomorrow? But why tomorrow? Mom, don't you know what day it is tomorrow? It's Pre- Christmas day, the time of year when all we do is eat together and watch movies and play games. And we decorate the Christmas tree." Seth paused." It's the day when we spend time with each other and no one else."

"Honey, I know but we can do all of that another day. Any day." She smiled gently. "Pick a day and we can...."

"There's no other day." Seth's voice was firm. "Tomorrow is the only day when we can do all of that. We can't just change it to another day just because you guys are going to some stupid party."

Ryan watched in silence as Seth got all worked up. It was all a little bit weird the way Seth could be so upset about small things that – in Ryan's own opinion – didn't mean all that much. Back in Chino, he rarely ever spent any time with his family and Christmas was usually a day he'd try to get over with quickly and do his best to forget as soon as possible.

Cutting in, Ryan said, "Seth, if you want we can do something while they're gone. We can have pre-Christmas." The idea wasn't as successful he'd hoped.

"Ha ha ha. How much fun is that? Ryan Atwood, being my baby sitter?" There was blatant sarcasm in Seth's voice. "You and I sitting at home alone when every other year it's been the one day we spend together as a family." Glaring at his mother, he went on. "I hope you're satisfied that you've managed to destroy this Christmas for me."

Seth had a flare from drama and even if Ryan could understand his brothers disappointment he couldn't stand to see the sadness in Kirstens eyes, so he jumped in. "Really, Seth, it won't be that bad. You and I can do something fun."

"Oh yeah, like what?" Seth spat, not sounding too thrilled. "Enlighten me."

Biting his lip, Ryan stressed his brain, trying to come up with something that would make Seth happy as well as helping Kirsten out. "I don't know, like I said we can order pizza, maybe, or we can invite someone over, or we can….we can watch a movie?"

Seth stared dumbly at him and for a moment, Ryan feared that he was going to get shot down. Then, suddenly, Seth's face lit up and he started talking fast. "I know what we can do. Let's have a comic night."

"Comic night?" Ryan frowned. Already he wasn't too fond of the idea. He liked reading comics, but having to spend a whole night doing just that wasn't exactly what he had in mind.

"Yeah! You know we can watch the movies, play video games and read comics. Listen. First we watch that movie I was talking about or…" Seth thought for a couple of seconds, "or we watch Batman's Return, or even better one or two Superman videos. And then…." Now he was talking so fast that Ryan wondered when – if ever – Seth planned on breathing next. "And after that we can read comics and you...." He pointed at Ryan.

"Me?"

"Yes you….You can stay in my room and we can read comics all night and then…."

OK ok, this was starting to sound too weird even for Seth Cohen. Ryan held up his hand, wanting to back out. "Hold on. What do you mean I can stay in your room? I have my own perfectly fine bed over at the pool house." Looking at Seth, he added, "We're not five, you know."

"Yes, I know." Seth said with a hurt expression on his face. "But you said that we would do something fun and this is fun! You're backing out now?"

Kirsten, who had been silent up to this point, started in carefully. "Seth, sweetie, don't you think that you're taking this a little too far?"

"No." Seth looked sternly at them. "No, I'm not. Besides, I don't think that it's a bit too far…." He folded his arms. "Mother, you're the one who's not staying at home to carry on the tradition."

Ryan knew it was blackmail and it worked.

"Seth, you know that I would stay here if I could but it's really important that I help Julie with this Christmas charity party since there will be very important investors over there and it's for a good cause. The money goes to build shelters for the homeless."

"Oh how noble of you." Seth snorted. "I really think it would be better if you paid attention to your own family instead of…."

Feeling that the situation was starting to get out of hand again, Ryan cut in, "Kirsten, you don't have to explain yourself and…." He turned to Seth "All right, buddy, I'll do it. We'll have all comic night tomorrow….if that's what you want." It would be a bit of a sacrifice to pull this off, but he could handle it. Besides, spending time with Seth rarely proved to be boring. Uninteresting, even wierd sometimes, but never boring.

"Cool, dude." Seth's face lit up like a Christmas tree. "You're really doing it?"

"Yeah, man."

"You're actually going to read comics with me all night?" Seth looked at him as if he thought his brother was joking.

"Yes, I said I would, didn't I? Now get out of here before I change my mind." He grinned teasingly when he saw Seth's tensed expression. "Dude, I told you I'm not backing out, but I really need to concentrate on studying so I don't fail my test."

"Cool. Then I'll go and see if Dad is done with the meat." Seth stood, walking towards the patio.

"You do that, honey." Kirsten smiled and once Seth was out the door, she leaned over to Ryan, whispering a sincere, "Thank-you, I couldn't have done it without you. "

"No problem." Ryan was glad to finally be able to help with something. The Cohen' s had always been there for him when he needed their help, and now he could return the favor. After all, they were his family and Seth was – in a strange way – his brother. Besides, he wasn't opposed to reading comics for one night.

Seth stuck in his head through the door. "Dinner's ready. Come and get your plates and let's eat. I'm starving."

"I wish I could say the same," Ryan muttered to himself, as he picked up a plate from the top of the pile and followed Seth out into the yard. 'God, I hope I don't regret this,' he thought as he piled meat, gravy and potatoes onto his plate.


	4. Merry Xmas Ryan Atwood Chapter 4

Search the web with Hotbot Try Blogging for FREE

Thank you so much for all the wonderful reviews I've recieved, it really warms my heart and it's for you guys that this story is written. I also want to thank Joey51 and famous99 for being my beta readers and have helped me so much with the grammar. Without you this wouldn't be possible. Thank you :)And now on to the fourth chapter.... 

Merry X-mas Ryan Atwood - Chapter 4 

Two hours later, while Ryan subconsciously clutched his pillow in his fists, he knew he'd made a mistake...and now he was paying the price. 

Lying in bed, he desperately wished he hadn't eaten that last portion of the grilled steak. The meat sat like a heavy lead ball inside his stomach, rolling around, and now his gut screamed for his attention. Cold sweat broke out on his forehead as he released his pillow and wrapped his arms around his abdomen. The nausea lurked in the back of his throat and he knew that a trip to the bathroom wouldn't be such a bad idea. He just hoped he could stall it as long as possible. 

It was probably nothing but a bad bout of indigestion, but he still felt miserable. He couldn't afford to be sick now. Not when he had a final exam coming up tomorrow as well as that comic night he'd promised to participate in with Seth. Not to mention the promises he'd made to Kirsten so she could host that charity party. 

Whimpering, Ryan rolled to his side again. Another cutting pain shot through his abdomen, causing him to moan in discomfort. It was hot and sweaty in the room and moving restlessly, he kicked the sheets into a pile at the end of his bed, only to pull them up minutes later when a sudden chill shook his body. Rolling out of bed, Ryan walked barefoot over to the bathroom. Once he was inside, he was surprised to find that the pain had lessened and the nausea was also retreating. Grateful for small favors, he rinsed his face off with cool water and then sat down on the toilet lid, waiting to see if the pain and nausea were actually passing, or if he would be in for another bout soon. 

When nothing of the sort happened, he shuffled back to bed, and soon felt exhaustion set in, pulling him into sleep, which was what his body so desperately needed. 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ 

"Nooo...no, don't!" Ryan woke up with a jerk from the nightmare that had been holding him in a tight grip. Confused, he'd noticed that it was after midnight and that he hadn't been asleep for more than an hour, tops. The stomach ache was still there, lingering, but what caught his attention was the coolness in the room. The air conditioner, however, was actually off, so all he could do was to pull his blanket tighter around his body, hoping that it would provide the warmth he craved. It worked, and 15 minutes later, Ryan was fast asleep again. 

The second time, about an hour later, it was his stomach that woke him up and he had to run to the bathroom. While battling his upset stomach, he'd been wracking his brain trying to come up with what to do, or what to take to feel better, when a thought struck him. Pepto Bismol had to be the solution. That pink stuff was what he used to take in the past when his stomach had been giving him trouble and usually it helped. After suffering through his ordeal, he went over to the kitchenette, searching for the much-wanted bottle, but to his dismay, found none. 

Reluctantly, Ryan went back to bed. 

At 2:34 a.m., he woke up again, this time turning up the air-conditioning since it was sweltering hot in the room. After tossing and turning for a while, hands gripped tightly around his belly, he decided that he had to get something for the stomach-ache, but all he could find was aspirin. He popped two pills into his mouth, downed a full glass of water and hoped that it would do the trick and kick the sickness out of his system. 

It didn't. Roughly 30 minutes later, Ryan was sure he was going to throw up. Scrambling out of bed, he sat in front of the porcelain bowl for what seemed like forever, waiting for the inevitable to happen. It was a false alarm again, and with nothing accomplished, he went back to bed, still plagued by the burning nausea. It crossed his mind that asking Kirsten or Sandy for something to calm his stomach wouldn't be such a bad idea, but after second thought, decided against it. It would only stir up things in the household and the last thing Ryan wanted to be was a nuisance. 

It would be better to try and sleep the bug off, provided he could manage to rest long enough for sleep to kick in. 

Less than an hour later, he woke up again. The stomach-ache still lingered, even if the nausea had calmed down a notch. Feeling chilled, he put on a sweatshirt and then crawled back to bed. While covering himself up with a couple of blankets, he debated whether it was any use to try and sleep, or if he should just admit defeat and spend his time going through his calculus notes one last time. He figured he might as well do something useful while he was waiting for another bout to kick in, which hopefully would help him kick whatever was bothering him out off his system. With that in mind, he picked up the book only to discover that trying to read made him even more nauseous than before. 

Suddenly the idea of staying home sick didn't seem so bad and he would have considered it, but he knew Kirsten would cancel her plans and, in turn, that would cancel Seth's special plans. Ryan had had enough spoiled Christmases in his past and one more was the last thing he or the Cohen's needed. It was best to play his little charade, pretending everything was fine and dandy, even though he felt like he'd been run over by a Mac truck. That way he wouldn't let anyone but himself down. 

When he finally managed to catch a couple hours of undisturbed sleep, it was time to face another day, and when the alarm clock went off, Ryan was almost dead to the world. 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ 

"Ryan, get up, man. You're going to be late for school." Seth's voice cut through his sleep like a drill. 

Groaning, Ryan rolled to the side, putting his head under a pillow, hoping to drown out all unwanted sounds. It was unbelievable how tired he felt. While Seth kept pushing him to get up, he tried to assess how his stomach was holding up. To his relief, he noticed that the fierce stomach-ache that had been torturing him all night had settled down and was replaced with a dull ache in the pit of his belly. 

Ryan was grateful that whatever had been plaguing him was seemingly out of his system, and even without having to endure something as nasty as having to throw up. Hopefully this would be the last he felt from this virus. It was starting more and more to look like a bad case of nerves combined with eating too much at dinner last night. Sandy was an excellent cook which led Ryan to eat more than he'd intended to. 

"Come on, we've gotta hurry." Seth gave him a rough shake before snatching the pillow away from him. "Holy crap. Dude, what did you do?" 

Confused, Ryan frowned. "Huh?" 

"Did you party, man?" 

"No." Seth was acting strange. 

He crooked his eyebrow. "You sure? I mean you look like you've been partying for a month straight!" 

"Yes, of course I have. I was partying all night." Ryan snarled. 

"You were?" Seth's face was one big question mark. "I thought you said you were tired and went to bed." 

Ryan rolled his eyes. "What do you think? I've been asleep here…in the pool house." 

"Okaaaaayyyy." Seth gave him a searching look. "Then why do you look like total and utter crap then? I swear Mom and Dad would freak if they saw you now. You would be sent straight to detox." 

Not listening, Ryan rolled out of bed and strolled over to where his pants lay in a pile on the floor. The sheer movement made hi stomach hurt and as he bent over, he felt another searing pain hit him. Crap! Out of reflex, he held his stomach. 

Seth stared at him, arms folded over his chest. "You're sick!" The statement was short and to the point. 

"What?" 

"Just say it. You're sick." 

"I'm not sick." 

"Well you look it and you're sure acting like it too. Dude, seriously, you look like you're about to blow any sec." 

"I'm not gonna blow. I'm just tired. That's all." Ryan ran his hand tiredly over his face. 

"Nah-ah, I'm not buying that." Seth shook his head, arms still folded. "Dude, have you looked in the mirror lately? A zombie would look better than you do now." 

"You're not exactly a poster boy either, you know." 

"Me? You must be kidding. I always look good." Seth grinned. "It doesn't matter what time it is in the morning. Seth Cohen always looks good." There was a mixture of sarcasm and reality in his voice. When Ryan refused to smile, Seth went back to the topic at hand. "You, however, buddy, you look like you haven't slept in days." 

Ryan sighed. If Seth had only known how close he was to the truth. The previous night had been the night from hell and one thing was for sure, sleep was highly underestimated. "Quit bothering me so I can get dressed. I need to get ready for breakfast." Ryan ushered Seth the door. "Go on. Go." 

Seth made no movement to leave. "You sure you don't want me to get Mom?" 

"Kirsten?" Ryan widened his eyes. "No. Why would you do that?" 

"Because you look sick, and you know…moms are usually the ones who take care of those things." 

Ryan frowned. This was partly true. But in the past, when he'd first arrived at the Cohens', it was Sandy who had been there for him. He supposed the reason for that was because Kirsten thought Ryan would feel more comfortable with Sandy, especially in critical and stressful situations. The past few months, more so since Ryan returned from Chino, everything had changed. He and Kirsten were spending more and more time together. She was also asking him all these questions about how he was doing, if everything all right and she had started to become the mother hen that Seth had warned him about. It could be annoying, but at the same time, comforting. 

"I told you it's nothing." Ryan defended himself, walking with hunched posture toward the bathroom door. 

"Okay." Seth looked at him with disbelief. "And that is why you look like an old man?" He pointed at Ryan. "Dude, you can't even stand up straight! I'm getting Mom." 

Afraid that Seth was actually going to follow through on the threat, Ryan quickly replied, "You don't need to do that. I'm fine." 

"Oh?" 

It was more than obvious that Seth wasn't buying it, and Ryan scrambled to come up with another excuse. "I just didn't sleep very well last night." He wasn't about to tell Seth why he had slept so badly. It was way too embarrassing and it would probably just result in Seth calling Kirsten for help and that was not what Ryan needed now. No, he was a big boy and could handle his own problems. 

"Wet dreams, eh?" Seth grinned, but his eyes remained serious. 

"No! And get out now or I'll kick your ass." Ryan pointed toward the door. 

"Okay. Okay. I'm going." Seth held up his hands. "Just don't be late. Dad is taking us." 

"Don't worry. I won't" Slipping into the bathroom, Ryan found that he needed a clean t-shirt, and when he came out, he saw Seth standing in the doorway. 

"I thought you left." 

"I did, but I came back." 

"'Kay." Ryan ruffled through the drawers. 

"Dude. There's something I've gotta ask you." Seth's voice indicated that he had something serious on his mind. 

Groaning inwardly, Ryan hoped that it wouldn't be another relationship question about Summer or Alex. Not feeling up to being a counselor, he bit back his feelings. "Shoot." 

"You sure you want to go through with comic night, tonight?" 

Surprised by the question, Ryan stopped his search. "Huh?" 

"I mean, if you don't feel up to it, that's okay too. I know that you're not really into comics and stuff like that and if you want to get out at all, just let me know and I can deal with it." Ryan swore that he could see the disappointment in Seth's eyes. "Correction, I can learn to deal with it." 

"Don't worry. I have no intention of canceling Comic night. As a matter of fact, I look forward to it." He forced a weak smile to reinforce his statement. "Really, Seth it's okay." 

"Coolness." Seth smiled as he let out a breath of relief. "I'll go and make sure that we have the Superman movies at home." With that, he hurried off toward the house. 

As soon as Seth left, Ryan went into the bathroom to finish getting dressed. It was no easy task, because each move he made caused a jolt to his stomach. When he was done, Ryan took one last look in the mirror. It gave him quite a scare. Seth was right. He did look like shit. 

The face staring back at him was ghostly pale, with blue - almost black - bags under his eyes, and a serious case of bed hair sticking up in all kinds of directions. It was no wonder Seth had thought he'd partied hard. He looked just like his mother did after she went on a drinking binge and was suffering from a hangover. 

But Ryan wasn't hung-over. He was sick. 

He sighed, knowing that there was no chance of getting past Kirsten's hawk eyes. She had a knack for knowing when something was bothering a family member. What bugged him was that she was always right. She always knew when one of them was just beginning to suffer from a cold, a fever, or like now; the flu. When Ryan was new in the family, she had let him be, but now, more than one year later, he knew that he would never get away with it. 

This only left him one option; he had to stay out of the main house. 

Not two minutes later, there was a soft knock on the bathroom door. "Ryan? Are you all right, honey?" 

Kirsten. So much for that plan…. 

"Yeah." He cleared his throat, feeling a bit embarrassed. "I'll be out. Just a sec." 

"I was coming to see if everything is okay. Seth told me that you looked a bit off. Pale." 

Great. Seth had ratted him out. 

"It's nothing. I'm fine," he called through the door. God, how many times did he have to say those words? Deciding that "just tired" wouldn't cut it, he instead added to his repertoire, "It's just nerves." 

"Nerves?" Kirsten sounded doubtful. "Because of your exams?" 

"Yeah." He hoped she believed him. 

To his relief, he heard her backing away from the door. "You want me to get you something to take? Some pepcid?" 

His first thought was to say no, but then he decided that maybe it wouldn't be such a bad idea. Instead, he hoped that she would fall for his act since the last thing he wanted was for the evening's festivities to be in jeopardy. "Sure." 

When he emerged from the bathroom, he was met by Kirsten who was sitting on his unmade bed, glass in hand. "Here," she said, handing him the glass. "It'll settle your stomach." 

Feeling embarrassed that she had to see him in a situation like this, Ryan mumbled a short, "thanks," before accepting the glass with the white liquid in his hands. 

"You're welcome." Watching him down the liquid, she went on, "The Christmas tree is coming today and I was wondering if you could help me carry it in after school." She looked a bit apologetic. "Sandy will be at work and, as you know, I can't count on Seth to help." 

Ryan nodded in agreement. Seth had a habit of hiding when there was work to be done, and he had a knack of finding the most imaginative excuses. "Sure." It felt good to be able to do something to help out in the household. 

"Great. I thought we could decorate the tree on Christmas morning instead, since as you know, Sandy and I will be at the charity event tonight." She smiled nervously. "You think that will be all right?" Before he had a chance to answer, she went on, "I know that it will be yet another disappointment for Seth, but I know a few families that decorate their tree on Christmas Eve." Kirsten was mostly talking to herself than to Ryan. 

Feeling that he had to find a way to ease her mind, Ryan mumbled, "I'm sure it will be just great." Placing his empty glass on the night stand, he bent down to pick up his jacket, when another stabbing pain cut through his middle, making him wince in the process. 

Noticing this, Kirsten was instantly by his side. "Are you all right?" The deep wrinkle on her forehead showed him that she was concerned for his well being. "D'you need to sit down?" 

"No, I'm fine." He shrugged off her helping hand. "It's nothing." Feeling his cheeks getting warm, he added, " It's just a cramp. Nerves tend to do this to me." 

"You sure?" 

"Yeah." He bit his lip as he did his best to stand up straight. "It will go away once I've done the exam. It always does." 

"Okay if you say so." Kirsten's blue eyes told him that she didn't believe him. "But you know if you don't feel well, just say so and you can stay at home. I'm certain that if we talk to Doctor Kim, she will arrange for another exam time when you're feeling better." 

For a second, Ryan didn't think that the offer sounded too bad. It would have felt so good to crawl back to bed, sleep the day away and give in to the sickness that he was doing his best to fend off. Yet he knew that wasn't a possibility. Not today. 

"Thanks for the offer, but that's not necessary." He smiled as reassuringly as he could. "I'll be fine. Besides, I've gotta get going so Sandy isn't kept waiting." 

Kirsten nodded slowly. "You do that; but remember if you start to feel worse, just give me a call and we will come and get you from school." 

"Okay." He opened the door and was just about to leave when she called out for him again. 

"Oh, and Ryan?" 

"Yeah?" 

"Don't worry. You'll do fine on the exam. I just know it." 

"Thanks." Ryan let out a brief smile of gratitude, before closing the door to the poolhouse behind him. Kirsten's words alone had him feeling better already. 


	5. Merry Xmas Ryan Atwood Chapter 5

Search the web with Hotbot Try Blogging for FREE

I'm so happy over all the wonderful reviews I've recived. Thank you so very very very much :) I also want to give one big hug to Joey51 for helping me with this chapter. Thank you so much girl. You rock!!!!

Merry X-mas Ryan Atwood - Chapter 4

From the first moment Ryan set his foot in school, he knew it was a bad idea.

If he hadn't been so stubborn and instead listened to both Kirsten and Seth, then maybe he wouldn't feel as rotten as he did right now. His stomach was churning constantly and he was alternating between the chills and sweating, which he knew, from previous experience, came from a fever. After the third period, the one before the lunch break, Ryan felt ready to call it quits. By then his stomach pretty much ached the entire time and now it wasn't a question of if he was going to be sick, but more a question of when it would happen.

He had stopped listening to his social science teacher, Mr. Crown's, lecture a long time ago. Since it was the day before the Christmas break, he was mostly going through the assignments they had over the holiday and Ryan was just listening half-heartedly. The words sounded so far away and the buzzing noise made him feel sleepy, causing him to nod off and wake up all the time. The other students kept glaring in his direction, yet he couldn't care less, not as long as his teacher wasn't on his case, anyway.

He'd been debating on and off inside his head, whether or not he should tell Seth that he felt too sick to go through with the night. Part of him wanted to drop the bomb, while the other part wanted to pretend that nothing would get to him, which was as far from the truth as anyone could get. Somehow, he thought that the way he was feeling now was just going to be a pre-notion of what was to come. And it wouldn't be pretty.

Last night's adventures were starting to do him in and he felt his eyelids getting heavier and heavier. Just when he was starting to nod off again, a booming voice called for his attention, making him jump what felt like 10 feet off his chair.

"Ryan Atwood!"

"Yes." Ryan sat up straighter in his seat.

"I thought I've made myself clear that I don't tolerate any sleeping in my class." Mr Crown stared hard at Ryan.

"Um...sorry." He shifted nervously in his seat. The last thing he needed was to get a detention slip for the Cohens to sign.

"What's your excuse for sleeping in my class?"

Swallowing hard, Ryan searched for something to say and he was going to tell his teacher that he'd studied all night, when a loud ringing noise cut through the school.

Saved by the bell.

Letting out a sigh of relief, Ryan didn't waste any time in scrambling his books into the backpack, and as he moved to stand, he felt a hand on his shoulder. Turning around, he was met with his teacher's displeased expression.

"Atwood, I would like to have a word with you."

Ryan flinched. "Oh no," he groaned inwardly. "Please don't do this. Not now." Forcing out a weak, "Yes?" he hoped that his teacher would sense his condition and he would let him off the hook. The searing pain in the middle of his gut was getting to him, and Ryan leaned forward a bit - since it hurt too much standing up straight - while he waited for the scolding to begin. To his surprise, he found his teacher scribbling something on a piece of paper and handing it to him.

"Here you go. Take this pass and then go down to the nurse's office."

Surprised that Mr. Crown didn't cut his head off, Ryan mumbled, "Uh? Sorry?"

"I said, here is the pass; now go to see the nurse," Mr. Crown repeated once more.

Ryan blinked rapidly. Swallowing hard, he did his best to concentrate on his teacher's words. Why wasn't Mr. Crown yelling at him? It made no sense. Mr Crown was known for being a hard-ass teacher and his almost-friendly words startled Ryan, as well as worried him. When he was in Chino, the only time someone was really nice to him was when there were something serious going on. Like that time he'd come to school with his left eye smashed in and he'd told his teacher that it was because he'd run into a wall. Or that other time when he'd broken his arm and he said it was because he'd fallen off his bike. It had all been nothing but a lie and both times it was one of his mom's boyfriends who'd caused it all. The bottom line was that his teachers had been nice to him, as if they'd suspected that there was something seriously off with him, the very same way as Mr Crown was acting now.

"Usually I don't tolerate people falling asleep in my class, but looking at you, I can see that you're not up to par, and therefore, I'm willing to make an exception."

Ryan knew that he must have looked like hell for his teacher to say something like that. "I've got an exam after lunch." It hurt to talk and he had to do everything to stifle the groan he could feel in the back of his throat. That and the nausea.

"You do what you have to do, Atwood." His teacher sighed. "Just remember that this is a one-time thing and if I find you sleeping during my lesson one more time, I won't make an exception again." His voice held a hint of warning.

Nodding, Ryan accepted the pass. If there was one thing he'd learned in his life, it was when to talk and when to be silent. Suddenly, he felt as if he had to get out of the room as quickly as possibly or there would be devastating consequences.

He needed peace and privacy, and he needed it now.

Mumbling a short, "Thanks," Ryan walked quickly out off the room, feeling his teacher's eyes on his back. With a fast pace, he set his steps toward the restroom. Hopefully he would be able to get a moment on his own; if he was lucky, the nausea would pass without turning his stomach inside out.

Suddenly, he heard Seth's voice calling out for him behind his back.

"Ryan! Hey, Ryan, wait up!"

Normally, Ryan would've answered, but today, when all he needed was to be on his own, he ignored Seth and instead, quickened his steps. The last thing he wanted was to have to play the role of casual listener, being submitted to Seth's endless speeches about everything and nothing.

Seth somehow still managed to sideline him. "Hey, man. Didn't you hear me call for you?" He panted heavily. "I've been looking all over the place for you." Before Ryan had a chance to open his mouth, Seth spat, "°Where have you been dude? I thought we said that we would wait for each by my locker." He didn't look too pleased.

Shifting uncomfortably, Ryan mumbled, "Sorry. I got held up in class by the teacher."

Seth's eyes widened. "Oh, what happened?"

Seeing Seth's reaction, Ryan couldn't help but smile a little. If he hadn't felt so shitty, he would have told a 'white lie' about how he'd done something that Seth would classify as the act of a 'bad boy,' but instead, he just shrugged, "Nothing much." Wanting to divert the attention, he went on, "So how was class for you?"

"It was okay. You know how much I love history." Seth made a gagging sound, "Thank God that this was the last history class befire the break. " He paused. "Anyway, I was thinking about tonight and then thought that we could watch all kinds of movies: comic ones, that is, and then we can discuss them and...."

"Discuss them? Seth, it's just you and me and...."Ryan didn't have a chance to finish his sentence before he got cut off.

"That was what I was thinking too¡­and that's why I invited Zach to come along."

"Zach?" Ryan frowned. "You mean Zach, as in Summer's boyfriend?"

"Yeah, yeah, that's the one." Seth sounded annoyed but his tone became more excited as he went on, "Anyway, since I want to show what a good guy I can be, I decided to attempt to bury the hatchet, and when I mentioned what we're doing tonight, he got really excited and then he suggested a few movies that we could watch and I felt like I had to ask him if he wanted to hang out too." Seth suddenly stopped, looking at Ryan, "That's ok with you too, right?"

Ryan, who was distracted by the mission of holding onto his stomach's contents, was barely listening. "Uhu," he mumbled. "That's fine by me." Deep inside, however, he was desperately wishing Seth would cancel the evening's plans. Ryan was pretty sure he wouldn't be good company, anyway. Especially if he felt as bad as he felt right now.

"You sure?" Seth gave him a doubtful look.

"Mmm." Motioning with his thumb toward the restrooms Ryan went on, " Just gotta go...you know..." Blushing slightly, he desperately hoped that Seth wouldn't follow him. His urge to get some privacy was pressing more and more, and the last thing he wanted was to have Seth hovering in the restroom. "I'll catch up you guys later in the cafeteria, ok?"

Seth looked strangely at him and for a moment Ryan feared that he would ask questions about his health but then his brother nodded, " Okay, see ya then..." With that he turned the corner and Ryan slipped inside the restroom.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was the beginning of the exam when Ryan started to feel absolutely miserable.

His stomach, which he'd done everything to keep in check, churned viciously and whatever had been bothering him all day was desperately searching for an escape route. After the short bathroom break following his conversation with Seth, Ryan had managed to compose himself enough to allow him to sit through lunch. However, he hadn't been able to eat much and everything he put inside his mouth, including the 7up, made him want to gag. The pain in his stomach, which could easily have contributed to hunger pains due to his lack of recent food consumption, made him want to move as little as possible and the nausea that was constantly hiding in the back of his throat didn't help the situation either.

Ryan did his best to do continue with the exam even though he felt like he could hurl any minute. Cold sweat had broken out on his forehead and his mouth was alternating between those dry and salty feelings which told him that he better not prolong his visit to the bathroom for much longer. Swallowing several times, Ryan did his best to force the nausea away, his goal was to at least finish most of the exam and leave the classroom without attracting too much attention.

The regulations prohibited him from leaving and returning to the room during the exam and this left him with only two options: either he had to fight the sickness and do his best to hold it a bay until he could finish, or he would have to leave the class without completing all the sections and, therefore, risk failing the class. Both options were equally bad, and frankly, Ryan didn't think that he could easily live with either of them.

Another shot of pain made him aware that his stomach was still very much active and held control of his decisions. Leaning forward in his seat, Ryan did his best to comfort his aching stomach by holding his arm tight on his abdomen. Sitting up made him feel even worse and even though it hurt to move, there was restlessness in his body that made it hard to sit still. Closing his eyes, he tried to muster up his strength to go through with the task, only to notice that the questions and figures were dancing on the paper in front of him. That made him feel even more dizzy and nauseous than before and if it continued, he was sure that he wouldn't be able to hold out much longer.

The flu had really come to bite him in his ass.

Less than ten minutes later, Ryan felt like he'd reached his limit. He had to get out of the room, or else he was certain that he would make a fool out of himself by blowing a gastric display all over his desk. And that was certainly something he felt he could spare his classmates; ­and his pride.

When he was sure he couldn't last another minute, he stood up to get his backpack and tried to make it out of the room without creating a stir, The chair, which had been forcefully shoved backward, suddenly wavered on two legs and then fell backward onto the stone floor. The fall created a noise that Ryan was sure could have been heard across the entire school. To his dismay, he noticed that every student's head turned in his direction and he tried his hardest to act like it didn't bother him when, in reality, he was squirming from all the sudden attention. With fast steps, he walked up to the teacher and without a word, placed the almost-blank paper on her desk.

Mrs. Grant, who was in her late forties, looked up at Ryan with a surprised expression on her face. "Everything all right?" she asked only to get a quick nod in response. Never in his life had Ryan felt such a desperate urge to bolt. He wanted to tell his teacher the reason for his hasty retreat, and that he hadn't skipped the test on purpose, but a pressing sensation in his upper stomach told him that there was no time for conversation. Besides, he didn't dare open his mouth in fear that something other than words would come out. If there was one thing Ryan had never been too fond of, it was attention. He didn't like it when eyes were turned on him. As uncomfortable as he felt now, he was sure it was going to get much worse if he didn't get out of the room soon.

When Mrs. Grant handed him the list to sign out, Ryan felt another bout of dizziness hit him hard. In a blur, with shaky hands, he managed to scribble down his signature before bolting out of the room when his stomach suddenly heaved.

Once outside the classroom, Ryan ran like he was trying out for a position on the track team. Slapping a hand over his mouth, he threw the door open to the restroom and prayed that all the stalls wouldn't be occupied. For once, the Atwood luck didn't hold him back and he managed to get his head over the bowl before his gut started turning itself inside out. The puking was so violent that it felt like he would tear something from inside his stomach. And every time another heave wracked his body, the pain kicked up a notch.

Cold sweat ran down his back, causing his skin to stick to his shirt, and when the bout finally was over, Ryan felt too weak to stand. Flushing the toilet, he prayed that that was it - that whatever had been bothering had finally found its way out. However, minutes later when his stomach revolted again, he got the feeling that this was not the end, but merely the beginning...

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When he felt safe enough to leave the restroom, Ryan walked slowly down the corridor to his locker so he could get his jacket. To his relief, he noticed that the hall was pretty much empty, and he hurried as fast as he could so no one would see him in his weary state. Another reason for his hasty retreat was that he wanted to get home as soon as possible so he could be close to his own facilities when his stomach decided to give him another wake up call.

There was no need to stay at school anymore; he had already flunked the test, and as far as he knew, he wouldn't be allowed back in the classroom either. Not that he wanted to go back in there. To Ryan, the only thing he could think about right now was crawling into a warm bed and sleeping the rest of the day away.

Just as he closed his locker, he felt someone put two hands over his eyes. Normally, this would have sparked his curiosity, but today it only served to make him to feel even dizzier than before.

"Guess who?" a female voice said, one he recognized very well. Turning around, he was met by Lindsay, who was smiling broadly. "Hey, handsome," she said, running her hand up his torso. "How did your calculus exam go?"

It would have been so easy to say that he got sick and couldn't finish the test, yet then Ryan would have to admit weakness, something that he really sucked at, so instead, he found himself saying, "It went rather well. Actually, I think I nailed it." His voice shook heavily despite his attempts to steady himself. However, it didn't appear as though Lindsay noticed. Instead, her eyes lit up,

"There you go. I knew you could do it."She gave him a hug that wouldn't have been so bad if it didn't feel like she was trying to squash his innards.

"Yeah," he pushed her aside as gently as he could, hoping that he didn't smell after his ordeal. It would surely destroy the moment and there would be questions that he didn't care to answer right now.

"You okay?" She frowned deeply, her forehead creasing as she looked him over.

"Mmmm. Why wouldn't I be?" Ryan blinked, trying to act as casual as he could.

Lindsay shrugged. "You look a little pale, that's all."

"Maybe I need to spend more time in the California sun," Ryan joked weakly, relieved that she hadn't pushed the health issue any further.

"That doesn't sound like such a bad idea."Lindsay smiled at him. "You want to go for a walk on the beach?"

Ryan gulped. "Now?"

"Yes, why not? It's Christmas break and everything. You know, we could stroll down the pier, go down to the Crab Shack and eat an ice-cream. It would really make it feel like the holidays."

"Eh...Huh." Any other day but today, Ryan would have thought it was a great idea. Thinking hard he did his best to come up with an excuse, when an brilliant idea shot through his brain. "I'm...uh...I'm sorry, but I can't." He smiled apologetically. "I've promised Kirsten to help her with the Christmas tree."

"Oh." There was disappointment in Lindsay's eyes.

Feeling bad that he was letting her down, Ryan mumbled, "I've promised, but if you want, we could meet afterwards." He could have bit his tongue off after that comment since he knew that he was in no shape or form to do something like that. Still, there was the driving urge to make everybody happy, even if that meant he had to sacrifice his own comfort.

Lindsay watched him carefully before she said, "No, I don't think so. You told me at lunch that you and Seth - and now Zach, apparently - were going to have Comic night and I don't want to disturb that."

"You won't disturb," Ryan said quickly. "And, you know, you can always come to the pool house before Comic night." He did his best to sound like that was what he really wanted but she saw through him. He felt as shallow as those water polo players Seth despised so much.

"Nah, that's all right." Ryan could see that she did her best to act like it didn't bother her. "I'll be there tomorrow anyway, on Chrismukkah."

"Okay." Ryan felt like an ass. Here he was standing with his girlfriend and he couldn't come up with anything else to say or do but nod. The look she gave him made him think that maybe she thought that he didn't want to spend time with her, causing him to make up excuses all the time. The truth was that his stomach was absolutely killing him and the nausea he thought he'd kicked was back again,­with a vengeance.

"So what time do you want me to come then?" Lindsay asked after an extended silence.

"What?" Ryan couldn't help but wince. Standing up was getting harder and harder and he really needed a breath of fresh air or he feared he would pass out.

"I asked you what time you want me to come to your place?" Lindsay's smile had faded and he could see the annoyance in her eyes. "Ryan?"

"Oh, that." He jerked. "Eh...Ummm...I don't know...fi...five sound okay with you?" Ryan was taking the time out of the blue.

"Five?" Lindsay frowned. "I thought Kirsten said three but then maybe she changed her mind."

It felt like cold sweat was pouring from his pores again. Wiping a hand over his forehead, Ryan mumbled, "Kirsten said five?" Lindsay looked at him with a strange expression. "Ok then, it's five, no, I mean three..." He was having a hard time thinking straight.

"You okay?" Lindsay suddenly asked, her hand on his arm, blue eyes looking at him with concern.

"Um..­yeah." That was nothing but a lie.

"You sure? You look like you're about to pass out."

"I do?" Ryan made a face.

"Yes," Lindsay nodded."

"Just feel a bit dizzy. It's a bit hot in here." Ryan bowed his head, hoping it would clear the cobwebs that were clouding his brain, making it feel like mush.

"Maybe you should go outside? Some fresh air might do you good.

"'kay." As if he was walking in slow motion, Ryan felt his legs leading him toward the entrance, Lindsay walking beside him. Once outside, he took several breaths and slowly he felt the dizziness go away and his strength return.

"You still feel dizzy?" Lindsay asked once they were outside. "You were white as a ghost there for a while."

"Nah, I'm good." Ryan sat down slowly on the stairs. "I think I might have overdone it when I studied for that last exam. I was up all night."

"Maybe you did." She sat down beside him. "So you think you feel better now then? You're ready to go home?"

Ryan nodded, not willing to open his mouth since the nausea was still there, threatening to attack.

"You want me to drive you?" Lindsay asked after a beat.

Thinking for a moment, Ryan remembered what Kirsten had said earlier in the morning; he just had to make a call and they would come and get him if he felt worse. But that meant that he had to disturb them and it was better to say yes to Lindsay. After all, she was his girlfriend.

"Okay, if that isn't too much hassle for you."

"No hassle." Lindsay smiled. "Besides, if you want and if you feel better, I can come down to the pool house with you for a while. I have nothing to do this afternoon anyway and if you want, we can go through our next physics assignment or...." "Or we could make-out," Ryan cut in with a sarcastic chuckle. He was doing his best to reassure her that he was feeling fine again, since the worst thing he knew was having to be dependent on others.

" Yes we could," Lindsay blushed. As if suddenly reminded of something, she added, "But didn't you say that you had to help Kirsten out?"

Ryan groaned,'Shit' He'd completely forgotten all about his promises to Kirsten. "Um...­yeah, but I think I'll have time for that too."

"Okay then," Lindsay stood up hastily. "Let's get going then." She grabbed Ryan by his arm.

Relieved that Lindsay had actually suggested going home, Ryan followed her towards the car. Frankly, he had no idea if he could keep up this charade any longer, and he was infuriated with himself for leading Lindsay on and inviting her home with him, but at least he was going home - the rest he could deal with later. For now all he wanted was to lay down on his own bed, trying to get some rest before the bathroom would be calling his name again. In other words, there wasn't much time to waste.


	6. Merry Xmas Ryan Atwood Chapter 6

I'm so happy over all the wonderful reviews I've recived. Thank you so very very very much :) I'm so sorry for the delay but I had a serious case of writers block and real life came up to me too. Luckily Misty Kid came along and if it wasn't for her it's possible that it wouldn't have been another chapter. Thank you girl for all of your support and you're the best:)Merry X-mas Ryan Atwood - Chapter 6 

It was the ride from hell!

Ryan had done his best to focus on something else beside the movement of the car but his constantly churning stomach made this tactic nearly impossible. His gut was doing flip flops it felt as if he was the lead actor in some bad hip hop movie. The ache, combined with the cars sweltering heat, made him want to curl up into a ball or better; jump out before he made a mess of himself. Yet he did his best to hold on and keep a calm face for Lindsay, all so she wouldn't have to worry about him.

This was the same charade he'd practiced many times in his life. He pretended that everything was just fine and dandy, wether it was physical or emotional, when in reality what was bothering him was tearing his mind apart. Today however it wasn't as much mental as it was physical.

His life didn't suck all that bad after he moved back to Newport. Even though he never thought it would happen he'd actually started to like the people of Newport outside of the Cohens. Still, there was something that didn't make him feel completely comfortable and that prevented him from showing his aches and pains. Maybe that was why he was keeping how bad he was feeling inside - for Lindsay. To spare her any worry she might have for him.

Leaning his hot forehead against the window he did his best to get some air from the small crack above the window. It was so stuffy and his stomach was giving him a bad time. The cars movements were making him sick and he was swallowing constantly in an attempt not to redecorate the upholstery. He didn't think that Lindsay would be too happy with him if something like that happend, beside the thought of having to endure the embarressment made him hold on for dear life.

"You okay Ryan?" Suddenly Lindsay's voice startled him and jerked him back from his own thoughts.

"Huh? What?" Noticing her concerned eyes he said with a fake smile, "Yeah it's just that it's a bit stuffy in here. That's all." He ended his sentence abruptly when she gave him a disappointed look.

"It's not that what is bothering you Ryan Atwood." Her tone was firm. "It's something else and it upsets me that you won't tell me what it is. Your own girlfriend." Her hawk eyes were peering into his, he had to look away before they burnt a hole into him.

"I've told you that it is nothing. It's just a bit hot in here." To state his point he rolled down the car window. "All I need is some fresh air."

"Yeah I know." She mumbled appologetically. "The airsystem isn't working and I haven't had the chance to fix it yet. Besides it would cost a fortune and mom doesn't think that its worth repairing this car since its just a piece of junk." She went on and on about the car and Ryan listened with only half an ear. His only answers were "Huh?" or sometimes an "Uh huh" that seemed to be enough for Lindsay to keep the conversation going. He didn't feel very talkative and he was afraid that if he opened his mouth something else beside words would come out - it was best to stall as long as possible.

The rest of the ride passed in silence which was rather unusual for Lindsay but Ryan didn't waste anytime thinking about it, he was much too busy trying too keep his stomach in check. The ride couldn't end one minute too soon and the second Lindsay turned up the driveway he felt his stomach go beserk. Swallowing hard Ryan did everything to try to keep his posture up and he could feel cold sweat dotting on his forehead. Closing his eyes briefly he did his best to gather new strength when he felt a hand on his shoulder.

"Ryan, we're here. Are you not going to get out?" Lindsay's voice was so soft that it felt like cotton, the way his ears were ringing he thought for a moment that he'd passed out. The look on his girlfriends face told him otherwise. "If you're that tired I think you should go to bed. I know you asked me to come in with you but you look as you need to go to bed instead. Besides we will see each other tomorrow ,we've got to see each other on Christmas Eve." With a smile she did her best not to act disappointed but Ryan could see in her eyes that she wanted to spend more time with him.

The problem was just that he felt so drained that he had a hard time holding up all of a sudden. He wished he hadn't invited her in to start with but he'd felt a bit obligated when she had sounded so down when they couldn't spend the evening together due to Seths night in. 'Crap,'he thought miserable. 'Why did I have to do that? I feel like shit and there is not a chance that I can take any company right now and now I'm letting her down too.' Ryan thought about his options before once again trying to keep his posture up. "I'm not that tired, besides spending time with you always makes me feel better." A pale smile cracked on his face even though he was certain that it came off more like a grimace."

"Yeah right." She chuckled even if the smile didn't reach her eyes. "You look like a zombie and even if I was suppose to come in with you I doubt that you would be up for any kind of conversation."

Normally Ryan would've objected but today he felt so tired that he had a hard time holding his eyes open, besides his stomach was cramping and he feared that if he prolonged this a bit longer it would have a devestating effect.

"Maybe you're right." He swallowed hard. "I'll see ya tomorrow then."

Bile rose in his throat and he didn't want to waste anymore time. Quickly, without turning around he hurried towards the house, he felt Lindsay's eyes on the back of his neck the whole way. Fumbling with his hand in his jeanspocket, he searched for the keys desperately trying not to throw up on the front stairs.

To his relief Ryan found that the door was already open and with shaky hands he pressed the handle down only to bolt inside seconds later. He took off running down the hallway like his pants were on fire, when he came to the nearest bathroom he threw himself infront of the bowl emptying out his guts. This was another violent spell and he closed his eyes so he didn't have to see the mess he created below. His stomach ached, and he wrapped his hands around his middle in an effort to sooth the pain.

Ryan had no idea how long he'd been sitting there in front of the bowl when he heard Kirstens voice outside. "Seth, honey. Is that you?" There was a soft knock on the door.

Swallowing hard Ryan did his best to muster up his strength. Moving to stand slowly he said as clear as he could. "No. It's me. Ryan." He was doing everything in his power to act casual but it was hard with his stomach churning threatingly all the time.

"Ryan?" Kirsten asked with surprise. "Is everything alright?"

At that moment his body decied to give another heave and he coughed hard in an attempt to keep the food down. This had Kirsten even more worried and Ryan could see the door handle jiggle slowly. "Sweetie? You okay?"

"I'm fine.

"You sure?" Kirsten didn't sound too certain but at least the grip on the doorhandle loosened.

"Yeah. I'll be right out in a sec." Ryan held his breath while he waited for his foster mom to back off.

"Oh okay if you say so. I'll be in the kitchen then." To his relief he heard her move away and once she had gone he sank back down on the floor infront of the bowl. The stomach ache was even worse than before and all he wanted was some relief from the pain. The bile was burning in his espaoghous and he leaned over to empty his insides once again. After that bout was over Ryan felt confident enough to leave the bathroom.

Flushing the toilet he stood up on shaky legs and then leaned against the washbasin, his stomach hurt from all the heaving and it hurt to straighten up. Looking up in the mirror Ryan saw a pale reflection staring back at him and he winced at the picture. It sure wasn't a pretty sight - he didn't exactly look like a poster boy. Not that he considered himself a poster boy but he knew that if he went outside looking like this Kirsten would instantly wonder what was going on. He did his best to fix up his appearance by washing his face with water and then pinching his white cheeks so there would be some colour in them, his eyes were glossy and filled with pain.

Even though all Ryan wanted to do was to lay down on the floor and crawl up into a ball he forced himself to act as if nothing bothered him. Opening the door he readied himself to meet the Kirsten.

Kirsten was sitting in the kitchen nursing a cup of coffee when he entered the room. "Hi." His tone was a bit shaky and she looked up at him instantly. He could see by the deep wrinkles in her forehead that she was concerned.

"Everything alright? You look a bit pale!" Kirsten put her hand up in a gesture to feel his forehead when he shrugged quickly away and went to sit across from her at the table.

"It's nothing, just a bit tired."

Kirsten frowned. "You sure that's all that is?"

Her hawk eyes looked at him. "I was in the kitchen when I heard someone come running in and I thought it was Seth."

She left the sentence there as if Ryan would fill in the blanks.

"Eh...Uh I...I had to use the ba...bathroom," he stuttered while blushing with embarressment. "Sorry."

"Oh, you don't have to be sorry for that." Kirsten smiled. "We've all been in that predicament at times." Her eyes were still searching him as she talked and he wasn't too certain that she had bought his lame excuse but to his relief she dropped the subject."

"I guess," Ryan mumbled looking down at the table.

"Did they let you off early because of Christmas vacation?" Kirsten asked and Ryan could tell that she was trying to find a reason for him to be sitting here in the kitchen when he wasn't due home for two more hours.

"I had calculus exam."

"Oh yeah," Kirsten smiled. "I almost forget about that. So how did the exam go then?" She took another sip of her coffee.

"Okay." It was getting hot and stuffy in the room and his stomach ached so bad - he wanted to lie down.

"Just okay or really great?"

"Okay." Ryan repeated once again. Saying that it went really well, like he'd told Lindsay earlier on, wouldn't cut it since the teacher would probably call home to Cohens and tell them that he had handed in an almost blank paper. Probably that he was in the danger of flunking class too.

Right now none of that mattered since all he wanted was to stretch out so the stomach ache that he'd been harbouring all day had a chance to go away. Hopefully before the evening or before Kirsten would find out that something was really wrong with him. Knowing her it was just a question of when instead of if.

They had a brief conversation or more likely Kirsten talked and Ryan answered mostly with monosyllabels. Suddenly the door bell rang and his foster mom hurried to open the door. Ryan, happy to get a pause, saw his chance to get out off the situation and be able to go down to the poolhouse for some well needed rest. Just when he had moved over to the glass doors Kirsten called out for him from the drive way.

"Ryan? Ryan, I need your help."

Upon hearing this the teen quickly changed his mind and ran as fast as the pain in his stomach would allow him outside, only to see Kirsten standing by a large Christmas tree that had someone been placed on their drive way. She tried to lift up the pine tree and judging by her face it was one heavy tree. Noticing this Ryan hurried over to her.

"No Kirsten. Let me help you with that." Bending down he bit his lip to stop from crying out in pain. His fostermom, being much too busy, failed to notice the face Ryan made.

"I can't believe the drivers. They just left the tree on the drive way and when I asked if they could carry it inside they told me that they had too many trees to be delievered today and then they left." She snorted with disgust. "I'll never buy a Christmas tree from that company again."

"Let's get this beast inside," Ryan said as he hoisted the tree up, ignoring the pain that it caused in his stomach and then he and Kirsten practically dragged the tree inside the house. He was carrying the foot while she took the top and there was more than once time when Ryan feared that he didn't have the strength to carry the tree and would drop it on the spot.

Once the tree was in the house they were met by Seth coming in through the door.

"Mom. Ryan. What are you doing?"

"Cutting grass, " Ryan spat annoyed over the stupid question. What did it look like they were doing? Sometimes Seth could be so stupid.

"Ryan is helping me to carry in the Christmas tree," Kirsten explained ignoring the remark her foster son had snapped. "Seth help him. This tree is heavy."

Ryan watched as his brother swiftly ignored his moms comment and instead sat down on the couch. "Ryan buddy you have no idea how many great magazines I've found. Zach has also got some really great videos that we can watch." Seths eyes were gleaming with happiness. "Oh this is going to be the best night before Christmas Eve. Ever." His eyes fell on Ryan who was doing his best to put down the tree with the aid of Kirsten. "Right dude?"

"Uh? What?" Ryan mumbled suddenly feeling totally drained.

"I said that this will be a total awesome evening, don't you agree?" Seths eyes were searching his and he could've swore that it was as if his friend suspected that something was not right.

"Yeah...Um..Sure, it'll be great." Ryan breathed out with relief when the tree was finally on its spot and he was allowed to sit down and relax. His side hurt badly now and he found it hard to walk straight which led him into limping on his way to the couch. This didn't go unnoticed from Kirsten.

"Ryan, is everything all right? You're limping!"

"I am?" Ryan asked confused only to change his sentence. "I mean yes I am. I must have pulled a muscle or something when I had sports today."

"You didn't have P.E today," Seth filled in with disbelief.

"Sure I did." Ryan felt annoyed.

"No you didn't. Dude you had the final exam instead." Seth frowned at him, and the look he gave him was one of confusion. This annoyed Ryan even more.

"Well maybe it was yesterday then." He wasn't about to reveal how shitty he felt. Not now when he knew that so many things depended on him. Seth opened his mouth to say that there were no sports yesterday either when Ryan threw him a glare.

"Honey, you need to have someone look at it if it doesn't get better." Kirsten went over to him and was going to put her hands on his side when Ryan backed away.

"I told you it's just a pulled muscle. Now if its okay with you I'm going to get a few hours of rest since I didn't get much sleep last night."

Neither Kirsten nor Seth had anything to object and with that Ryan hurried over to the poolhouse. Once he was inside he let out a breath that he hadn't even been aware that he'd been holding. Throwing himself face down on the bed he hoped that the stomach ache that was tormenting him would lessen if he stretched out but to his surprise he found that it was even worse in that position. This made Ryan roll to his side, pulling his legs up to his stomach and to his relief this position gave him a little comfort and soon he was able to close his eyes and then fell into a well needed sleep. When Ryan woke up a few hours later he found that he wasn't alone in the room. The sweet smell of Kirstens perfume saturated the room and Ryan had to swallow hard or he would fear he would throw up. Normally that scent didn't bother him but today it was making him really nauseous.

"Hi honey," Kirsten said softly as she sat down beside him. "How are you feeling?"

Confused over being asked that question Ryan did his best to sit up straight only to feel the pain in his stomach worsen. He groaned silently. "I'm okay."

"Ryan, your teacher called and asked what happend. Apparently you didn't finish your calculus exam and handed in the paper almost blank. Mrs Grant talked with your teacher, Mr. Cartwright's really concerned he thought calculus was one of your best subjects. He called us to find out what was wrong since you never missed an exam before. When you came home early and you were so quiet, quieter than you use to be." Kirsten smiled, "I put two and two together, and when you went to bed I figured out that something was wrong. So Ryan how are you really feeling?"

"Better." He smiled paley. "I'll guess that I was mostly tired.This nap helped." The cat was already out of the bag so he dared to tell her that he wasn't one hundred percent, besides she wouldn't be too concerned for something as little as that.

"Good". Kirsten mumbled, putting her cool hand on his forehead. "You still look a bit pale...and you feel a bit warm too." Taking her hand away she frowned, "Are you sure that feeling tired is the only thing?" "Mmmm." Ryan did his best to nod without disturbing his already thumping headache. "I guess I didn't sleep much last night and that made me flunk my calculus too." He didn't dare to explain anything more since his stomach was in the process of doing sommersaults again and it made him swallow. Hard.

"You didn't fail calculus." Kirstens tone was firm but gentle.

Ryan looked up. "Huh?"

"I told Mr. Cartwright that you hadn't been feeling well this morning I think he took that as an excuse and you'll be able to do the test later on when you're feeling better." She looked at him. "Beacuse that was why you had to leave the class room wasn't? Mrs Grant said that you left the study hall in a hurry."

Ryan blushed. "Um...I had to use the bathroom I guess. We're not allowed back in after we've left the study hall so I had to hand it in almost blank." He hoped that she wouldn't ask him anything more on that but judging by the concern in her blue eyes his hope was in vain.

"So Ryan, is it your stomach that's giving you trouble then?" Kirsten was really in the mom mode now.

Ryan bit his lip. It would've been so easy to tell her how bad he really felt and that it felt like he was coming on with the flu. After all Kirsten had already started to figure out about that he wasn't feeling very well, but then he remembered the charity event and knowing Kirsten she would have canceled her part if she'd known how shitty he really felt. Not to mention how he would let Seth down too and that was something he wanted to avoid at all costs. It felt so embarressing talking about his body functions, especially with Kirsten but he knew that she wouldn't drop the subject until he had answered that question.

"A little. I think it might be nerves."

"Could be." Kirsten smiled gently at him. "Hold on, I'll go and see if I can find some pepto bismol for you to take." He didn't have the chance to object before she was out of the pool house. Meanwhile Ryan was fighting the pain that surged through his body. He didn't feel much better than before he'd fell asleep and now it was even worse. Closing his eyes Ryan willed the pain to stay put when he heard someone open the door again.

"Hey kid you're not getting sick on us are you?" Looking up he saw Sandy standing there, a bottle of pink fluid in his hand. "Kirsten asked me to give you this. " He sat down on the bed so it creaked and stirred up more pain from the movement. Ryan held his breath. That was how much it hurt.

"Thanks." He picked the bottle up and then opened the cap and poured it in the glass beside his bed. With a face he swallowed the liquid only to gag seconds later and prayed desperatly that it would stay down.

"Where is she anyway?" He couldn't help but feel a it disappointed that Kirsten hadn't turned up with the medicine as she promised.

"She had to leave early for the charity event."

"Oh."

At that moment Ryan spotted that Sandy was all dressed up,wearing a tuxedo and a tie. His foster dad must have sensed how uncomfortable the teen was since he went on with a grin on his lips.

"I hope it wasn't my cooking yesterday that made you feel like this." Ryan didn't have to answer since he went on, "But then Kirsten told me that you had an upset stomach this morning and that it was probably nerves before the exam so I guess I am off the hook."

Ryan nodded.

"Anyway kid," Sandy looked at him, concern in his hazelnut eyes. "Are you sure that nerves is the only thing? That it's not some kind of bug that you're not telling us about?"

This was starting to get annoying. "It's nothing. I'm fine."

"All right." Sandy didn't believe him and he didn't blame him. His fosterdad stood up, "I'm going to let you rest since we have to get going to the charity event, but if you start to feel worse. Like you have to throw up or something don't hesitate to call us and we will be at home in a jiffy."

His warm eyes sought out Ryans. "You know kid we care for you and don't want you to feel like you have to hide something. I know you think you'd be letting us down or something but I promise you you're not."

"I told you I was fine. Just a bit tired."

"And an upset stomach, yes Kirsten told me that. She also said that you were running a fever."

"I don't have a fever. I'm not sick!" God this was starting to get annoying. Ryan hated when people fussed over him, mainly because he wasn't used to this kind of treatment. When he'd been sick in the past he was usually left alone and now they were circling around him like flies to a candy. This much attention was quickly starting to get too much.

"Okay." Sandy didn't press on. "I'll leave the bottle here beside the bed and if you start to feel better Seth is in the house.Watching a video"

Ryan felt bad. "Seth knows that I'm..I'm a...a bit under the weather?"

Sandy nodded.

"And how did he take it."

"Fine for Seth." His foster dad smiled. "At first he was a bit dissappointed but then he said that he had seen that you weren't feeling right and he guessed that you weren't really up to it."

"So the Comic night is canceled then?" This was getting worse by the second. First he was almost making Kirsten and Sandy cancel the charity event and then he was letting Seth down. Talk about a shitty christmas."

"I don't know. You have to talk to him." Sandy patted Ryans hand. "I have to go and right now you need all rest that you can get so you'll feel better tomorrow for Christmas Eve. Like I said before don't hesitate to call us if you start feeling worse and I'm sure that Seth will come in and see how you're doing later on in the evening."

"'kay." Ryans stomach hurt too much for him to talk and instead he concentrated on the nausea that was doing a battle inside his body. Closing his eyes the teen did his best to will the pain away and when he felt Sandys hand on his forehead, stroking away the sweaty strands of hair, he could finally relax long enough to let the sleep overtake him.


	7. Merry Xmas Ryan Atwood Chapter 7

Thank you so much for all of the fantastic reviews you've sent me :) And a special thanks to Misty who have edited all of my chapters and is the one that keeps encouraging me to write, without her there would be no stories :) Okay on to the next chapter then...Merry X-mas Ryan Atwood - Chapter 7 

First it was cold.

Then it was hot.

After that he felt clammy only to feel sweaty the next minute. If the car ride had been hell it was nothing compared to the agony he was going through right now. It was as if his body was at war and the pain he felt in his stomach was reaching new heights all the time. The nausea was still there and after the last bout he'd sworn that he would do his best to keep his stomach contents down even if it killed him. The fact was that every heave felt like a knife had been jabbed in his stomach and there were times when Ryan contemplated if he would make it without passing out. Miraculously however the stabbing feeling in the pit of his stomach had dissolved and left instead a sore feeling in his side. This puzzled him but he decided that he'd pulled a muscle while heaving his guts out. What else could it be?

The strange feeling in his veins made him suspect that Kirsten had been right; he was running a temperature and judging from the temperature swigs he was having it wasn't a low one either.

The last nap had done him some good and for the first time he showed some interest over what was going on around him. Looking at the clock on the nightstand he saw that it was a quarter past nine which meant that Zach was probably there and that his foster brother was in the midst of having his Comic night. Ryan sighed, feeling bad over that he'd once again managed to let the Cohen's down, especially since he knew how much Comic night and Seth/Ryan time meant to him. With that in mind he felt that he'd better go and see what his friends were up to and do his best to save the rest of the night.

But if he felt rather good laying down it was a whole different story standing up. The second he attempted to straighten his hunched over body a searing pain unlike anything he'd ever experienced before ran through his side and he sank down on the bed, holding his stomach with a death grip.

"Fuck," Ryan gasped as tears started to well up in his eyes. Never in his life had he felt worse, pain hit his gut and he started to regret his decision to walk into the main house. Putting his legs high up under his stomach provided some comfort. Putting his hand against his forehead he found that it was a bit clammy and he was certain there for a minute that he was about to pass out. Putting his head down, just as Trey had instructed when he was little and had been kicked in his head by one of Dawns boyfriends, the structures started to take form again and the grey vision started to colour again.

"You're such a pussy Ryan," The teen told himself over and over again as if it would encourage him to try and stand again - soon it showed results. Holding his arms around his stomach he did another attempt and to his relief found that the searing pain that struck him so hard was gone and now it was just a very uncomfortable stretching feeling inside his gut. Happy that the worst ache seemed to be over Ryan moved with slow careful moves over to the main house to see what Seth and possibly Zach would be up to.

The moment the blonde opened the door to the main building he regretted his decision.

Badly.

There were loud noises coming from the family room and if Ryan hadn't been so set in making Seth not feel neglected he would have turned on his heel and left the place. The loud noises were making him feel even worse than before and the nausea that had thankfully gone was coming back. It didn't help that the room smelled like a pizza parlour too.

Trying not to walk too hunched Ryan made his way over to the family room only to find Seth and Zach sitting there on the floor, cross-legged, munching on a pizza each. The whole room was swamped with all kinds of piles of comic books. The TV was on and a really old cartoon movie was playing loudly at the same time as Death cab was blasting the speakers on full volume. In the middle of this noise both his friends seemed to be engrossed in a lively conversation about wonder woman.

He shook his head. No wonder that he was feeling as sick as he did.

"Hi guys."

Two pair of heads jerked at his words and he was instantly met with their greetings.

"Ryan, man?" Seth blurted out in surprise. "I thought you were in bed."

A shrug. "I was."

"I didn't see ya come in. How you're feeling? Still feel as if you're about to toss your cookies?"

If his foster brother was blunt with his comments Zach acted a tad more friendly, "Hi man, how you doing?"

Ryan shrugged. "Okay...and to answer your question Seth. No I'm NOT gonna toss my cookies."

It was nothing but a lie that he knew, but he couldn't stand listening to their endless comments about his health and that it was better to go with a white lie. Besides he hadn't told the Cohen's that he'd thrown up earlier either. He didn't think it was any of their business, besides in the past when he was sick Dawn hadn't paid that much attention to him so it never occurred to him that anyone would be concerned if he hurled his guts out.

"Really? That's not what mom said."

Ryan pretended not to hear what his foster brother had said but inside there were so many thoughts. When had Kirsten found out that he was sick? He'd done his best to hide it even if they suspected something was wrong. But then you didn't have to be a genius, he thought, to see that he was both looking and feeling crummy. His thoughts were suddenly interrupted by Seth's eager voice.

"Dude we've got some pizza if you want." The dark boys hand waved with a slice of pizza in front of Ryan's face. "It's really good. Try it."

Upon the scent assaulting his nostrils Ryan did his best not to gag. Blocking out the offending smell while breathing through his nose he did his best to keep the nausea at bay. It was a hard task to do and he had to swallow hard before croaking out, "Nah thanks. I think I'll pass for now."

"Okay." Seth looked at him with concern. "You know I think you should sit down since you really look as if you're about to pass out any second."

"Thanks Seth but I'm fine."

His foster brother frowned with disbelief. "Are you really?"

"Uh huh." Talking proved to be a hard task but it was nothing compared to standing up. Ryan felt a need to bend over so bad that for a moment he feared as he would do as Seth had feared: pass out.

Seth had been right. He had to sit down right now and with that in mind he walked small careful steps so he wouldn't cause more stabbing sensations in his gut. He knew that his friends were following his actions yet he didn't care and when he reached his target he sat down on the sofa while holding his midsection in a tight grip. The action didn't go unnoticed.

Zach was fast on his feet with a helping hand. "You alright?" Concern shone in his eyes.

Ryan shrugged. "Yeah." He didn't really feel like talking, beside he didn't know if he could afford to open his mouth. It was no telling what could reappear if he did so.

Seth gave him an eye. "Dude I don't believe you. You really look like crap." He paused, "You sure that it's just a flu bug? I mean I've seen you sick with the flu before and it's never been as bad as it looks right now. You positively green in the face."

"Thanks Seth. You've really got the knack of making a guy feel better. " A tight smile was forced on his lips. Noticing his foster brother's concerned eyes he added, "Don't worry man. I'm fine. It's just my stomach that's a bit upset. "The words came stumbling as if he had no control over them. "It must have been something I ate."

"You? Ate?" He hadn't managed to convince his friends that a bad case of food poisoning was all that it was. "Dude I hardly saw you eat anything today."

Ryan gave no answer. He knew when a battle had been lost, besides at that moment his stomach decided to show him who was the boss again and a big cramp came, folding him over in the process and he let out a moan in pain. When the worst attack was over he saw that both of his friends were standing beside him, hovering, and concern written in their eyes.

"Man that looks really bad." Seth placed his arm around Ryan's shoulder for comfort. "Maybe I should call mom and dad and tell that that you're feeling this sick?"

His words were merely a mumble but Ryan caught them instantly. "No...No," he objected. "You don't have to do that. It's just a stomach ache. Nothing to be concerned about."

"Dude. That looks far worse than just a stomach ache. I've seen you sick but never as bad as now. Heck you can barely sit up straight."

Heopened his mouth to object again when he felt another rush of nausea well up inside of him and he swallowed hard. "It's...it's...not as bad as it...it. Looks."

The words did nothing to convince his both friends that urged him to lie down again. Feeling as if his gut was about to rip apart if he had to sit up any longer he did as the two teenagers said and lay down on the sofa only to notice that laying on his back made him feel even worse. Rolling to his side he tried to find a much better position and he wasn't satisfied until he had his legs drawn up high to his stomach. Curled up in the foetal position.

His two friends were talking to each other in a high tone but it was so blurry and foggy that he had a hard time making out what they were saying and while doing his best to listen he noticed that he was so tired that he had a hard time holding his eyes open.

"Suddenly calling mom and dad doesn't sound like such a bad idea."

That sentence made Ryan jerk. He didn't want to be a burden to any one of the Cohen's. They had been so nice to him and he knew how much the charity event meant to him and he didn't want to ruin their party. Still one side of him wanted Seth to go ahead with his actions. The pain in his stomach was getting worse by the minute and his side was absolutely killing him. He didn't hear what the response was but when he opened his eyes he noticed that Seth was nowhere to be seen and that Zach was hunched next to him on the sofa.

"Hey," he smiled. "I thought you'd passed out."

"No..." Ryan shook his head slowly only to find out that any movements made his stomach hurt even more. Licking his lips he mumbled, his voice barely a whisper, "Where...where did Seth go?"

"He had to make a...a call."

The last sentence caused a reaction within the blonde teen and if his stomach hadn't hurt so much he would've objected. This time however another searing bout of pain made him let out a long groan and when the worst had let up he felt himself dosing off.

Ryan had no idea how long he'd been out when he felt a soft hand on his forehead.

"Sandy he's really warm. I think he's running a high fever."

Another hand, a much rougher one, came to touch him and in his hazy mind he had a hard time making out what the voices were saying. The words sick and fever made him aware that he was really bad off and once again he forced his eyes open only to see the face of Kirsten come into vision.

"Hey." She smiled gently at him but her eyes betrayed her. She was worried over the state he was in and wiping away the sweat soaked strands of hair from his forehead she asked, "How are you feeling?

Ignoring the question Ryan blinked several times. Confused. "Shouldn't you be at the charity event?" He shivered despite of the burning sensation in his body. The fever had to be taking a toll on his system and he was sure that it was all an illusion until Kirsten answered him.

"Honey, Seth called us and told that you were sick...and we came home as soon as we could."

Those words confused him even more. "You...you came home?"

This was something he wasn't used to. In the past when he'd been sick Dawn had never taken the time to stay home with him. Work had always come in first place and Ryan remembered one time when Trey had been the one that had been so sick with pneumonia. He had a very high fever and was so delusional that Ryan had a hard time getting any sense out of him. Ryan knew that he had to be around five at that time and Trey just a few years older than him. The vague memory of him calling the strip joint where Dawn worked as a waitress at that time popped up and he remembered how mad she was that he was calling. He'd begged her to come home afraid and cried that he was afraid that his big brother was going to die only to be told not be such a pussy and that it was all nonsense. Dawn had then told him not to call her again since her boss had threatened to fire her if she was disturbed once again at work. This left Ryan having to deal with the situation the best he could and he had a vague memory of sitting beside his brother's bed all night, afraid that if he fell asleep or even left the place to go to the bathroom, Trey would die on him. That made him sit like a guard all night and to his relief the fever broke early in the morning and one week later his big brother was back in being his old wild self again.

"Of course we came home." Kirsten said as if there were no other answer to the comment. She placed a wet washcloth on his forehead before continuing, "Why wouldn't we Ryan? We care for you. You're our son."

At that moment Ryan wished he could have answered her but another wrack of pain caused him to curl up even tighter and he had panted hard. When he got his breath back again Sandy's booming voice could be heard. "Ryan can you tell me where it hurts the most?"

Pinching his eyes closed against the attack of pain he mumbled, "In my...my stomach."

"Where in your stomach?" Sandy asked as he folded the blanket back, making Ryan shiver even more as the cool air hit his feverish skin.

"Everywhere...but...but mostly my...my side." Ryan panted as another attack struck him and he had to do everything to keep him from crying out loud. Rolling even tighter into a foetus position he did his best to fight away the tears that kept trickling down his cheeks.

Sandy's hands had been there, prodding him and he had to do his best not to scream out for the pain as his foster dads fingers kept pressing down on his already sore stomach. If it was bad when he pressed down it was nothing compared to when he let up and Ryan cried out he thought he was going to pass out.

Shit this was the worst feeling ever."

"I think it's his appendix." Sandy said as he'd finished his brief examination. Folding back the blanket over Ryan's shivering body he went on, "We need to take him to the hospital before his appendix bursts. If it hasn't already!"

Upon hearing the word hospital being spelled out Ryan tried to sit up only to be pushed down again by Seth. "No...No hospital."

If there was one thing that could make Ryan shiver from fright it was having to go to a hospital. He hated it when doctors poked at him and god knows he'd done it enough times in his life to know what it felt like. His mom's boyfriends had a like for violence and it was more than one time that he'd been the target for their anger.

"No brother. You're sick. You gotta stay down. Let the rents take care of ya."

Zach seemed to agree too. "Yeah Ryan. If it's appendicitis it can be bad, beside my sister had it and she was curling up in a ball just like you do." He pointed at the teenager's foetus position. "Sandy's right. You need to go to the hospital right away."

In the corner of his eye Sandy was barking out orders. "Seth go and call the ambulance and tell them to come here right away. We need to get him to a hospital. Pronto." Ryan was too weak and dizzy to hear what the answer was but actions were taken and soon he felt Kirsten's soft hand on his cheeks again.

"Oh sweetie why didn't you tell me that you were feeling this sick?" There were a hint of accusation in her voice at the same time as he noticed how worried she was. "Why didn't I see how sick you were?"

He wanted to tell her that it was not her fault but talking proved to be too exhausting beside his stomach was doing summersaults again and it felt as if he would be sick again. Before he could even lift his head his stomach gurgled and started empty itself of the contents. It wasn't much due to the fact that he'd been heaving all day and all that came up was bile and some transparent fluid.

"Oh honey." Kirsten was there, hovering all over him and when he opened his eyes he noticed that the last bout of throwing up had happened so fast that he didn't have a chance to let go over the bucket. This resulted in him heaving all over himself as well as the couch and it was far from pretty.

"I'm so...so...sorry," he stuttered when he saw the mess that he'd created. With shaking hands he tried to hide away the mess on the couch but Kirsten was there again.

"It doesn't matter and you couldn't help it." Her tone was gentle and she hugged him the best as she could given the situation he was in.

"I ruined your couch." Ryan mumbled as she helped him to get out of his soiled tee and into a new one. Moving hurt but at the same time he felt that he deserved the pain, mainly because he'd totally ruined the night for his foster family in such a devastating way.

"No you didn't." Kirsten smiled down at him. "I'm certain that the spot can be taken away with a wash, besides you shouldn't worry about that now. Just concentrate on getting better."

Ryan didn't know if it was those last words or the fact that she was stroking his hair to get him to calm down but he could feel his eyes getting heavier by the minute. His stomach was still doing flip flops and he felt a tad better than he'd been before, still there were this gnawing ache but it was nothing that he couldn't handle. His stomach felt strangely full though and he pondered if he should say something to Kirsten about it, but decided not to since she was too busy folding up the clothes and the blanket that he'd ruined. With that in mind he closed his eyes, hoping that sleep would at last get to him and when he woke up this was nothing but a bad nightmare...


	8. Merry Xmas Ryan Atwood Chapter 8

Wow! ´Thank you so very very much for the amazing amount of reviews I've recived. I appreciate them all very much :) This is a shout out to two people..One to Mistykid who has once again edited this chapter and she is my awesome feedback friend. With her there would be NO chapters...Thanks girl. The other goes to beachtree who writes the most fantastic reviews.. Thank you so much. It made my day :)...Okay enough of this Oscar speech LOL...here comes the next chapter... 

Time seemed to stand still and Ryan had no idea how much time passed since he last fell asleep.

Was it hours, minutes, seconds?

He had no idea. All he knew that when he woke up the pain wasn't as bad as before and the nausea was receding. For a moment he feared that he'd led on his foster parents making them think that he was sicker than he was, that was until he felt the feverish chills wrack his body, making his eyes all blurry and his head all fuzzy.

There were no doubt that he was sicker than he first thought.

People were swarming around him like bees to honey and they were talking to him. He had a hard time figuring out what they wanted but he could hear Sandy's booming voice and Kirsten's gentle one, but suddenly there were two persons that he didn't recognize talking too. His head felt like it was going to explode from the strength of open his eyes, yet he forced himself to do so only to become dizzier than he'd been before. Shit this was a bad movement.

It seemed as if everything was going in slow motion and it was all so surreal. That was until he felt himself being lifted and the dizziness was back with a vengeance, as was the nausea that had been lurking in the back of his throat like an animal waiting for it's pray. Moaning Ryan tried to say that he didn't want to get lifted since it made him feel even sicker than before but all that came out was a strangled grunt.

"What did you say honey?" Kirsten asked as she leaned in to hear what her foster son wanted.

Too weak to repeat what he had meant to say Ryan swallowed hard and then choked out, "Don't."

To his dismay no one listened and he was being moved onto a stretcher. Once again the teenager did his best to make his voice heard and this time the person that he didn't recognize leaned in to listen to him.

"What are you trying to tell me?" he asked as he was checking Ryan's pulse.

"It hu...hurts to move," Ryan gasped as another searing pain struck his body.

"I know buddy but we try to be as gentle as we can." The man looked a bit apologetic. "I'm Frank," he said when Ryan blinked several times in an attempt to recognize him.

"And this is Mike." He pointed to his black colleague. "We're here to take you down to Newport Hospital so that they can fix you up in no time." He grinned, "Ain't that right Mike?"

"Yup." The black man stuck a needle into Ryan's vein and then secured the IV bag safely on a pole. "There you are, ready to go to the hospital."

Suspicious over what they were doing the teenager asked, "What's all that for?"

"You need fluid into your body and this will help you feel better," the dark man answered while he did the last thing to set up the IV.

Ryan nodded, too weak to say anything. He could hear Seth talking to him in the background but everything hurt so much and he had a hard time focus on anything at the moment. His stomach felt so strangely full and he felt it was best to tell these two men this.

"I feel full," he mumbled, hoping that they would catch onto what he was talking about.

The man called Frank had just put on a pair of gloves and he'd lifted up Ryan's t-shirt when the teenager's words took him by surprise. "You feel full?" he asked.

Ryan nodded. Was that bad?

"Okay," the ambulance man said, "I'm going to do a quick examination of your belly. Just to see that everything is alright."

"Alright?" Seth interrupted him. "Of course everything's not alright. He's sick and puking his guts out."

"Seth!" Ryan could hear Kirsten scolding her son and if he hadn't felt so bad he would at least have given up a grin, this time however he had to concentrate on lying still since moving made him feel carsick.

The Ambulance men felt Ryan's stomach carefully, yet it felt strange and the teenager bit his lip so he wouldn't cry out loud or lash out and give the man a punch. There were some serious prodding going on and meanwhile Mike was scribbling down figures on a note pad.

"His whole abdomen is tense," Frank concluded while he prodded the stomach area with careful moves. "I don't like this," he mumbled when he touched the spot where Ryan had guarded all day.

"How is he doing?" Sandy wanted to know when the examination had went on far too long.

"His stomach is distended and hard and I'm afraid that there might have been an appendix rupture already."

Ryan's whole body tensed up hearing this news. He wanted so bad to ask if this was dangerous but Seth beat him to it.

"Isn't that dangerous?"

"It can be," the man muttered as they lifted Ryan into the waiting ambulance. "Especially if his abdomen will be filled with puss."

This comment didn't exactly help matters and Ryan felt panic starting to set in. His stomach screamed for his attention again and the fear of having to travel alone in the ambulance made him feel claustrophobic.

He didn't want to go to the hospital alone.

"Can...Can anyone come with me?" The words came out as a mere whisper and to his relief he heard Kirsten telling him that she would ride with him in the ambulance. Sandy told him to just hang in there and that they would follow with the car.

Satisfied that he wouldn't be all alone with this hell Ryan closed his eyes again and drifted off into another restless sleep.

"Come on buddy!" A male voice urged him while he felt a hand slapping his face gently. Feeling as if he didn't want to wake up Ryan closed his eyes even tighter only to be annoyed again by the male who kept bugging him.

"Leave me alone. I wanna sleep," he mumbled while trying to fight off the intruder that was so persistent in making him wake up. Whatever drugs the ambulance men had given him made him feel good and the fierce stomach ache was as good as gone, if you didn't count the burning feeling that replaced it.

"No Ryan, you have to wake up." Hands were shaking him and he wanted to yell at them, tell them to take a hike when he heard Kirsten's soft voice.

"Sweetie, I know that you feel bad and just want to sleep but you have to wake up. They want to do an examination before it's time for you to go to surgery."

The word surgery did it.

His blue opened up only to see a man in a white coat hovering over him as well as a couple of nurses. Kirsten were standing there too, a deep frown on her forehead.

"Hi Ryan," the men in the white coat said. "I'm Doctor Reynolds and I'm going to look at you, do a quick examination of your stomach." The doctor didn't waste any more words than necessary and soon he went to action.

Whatever drugs the ambulance men had provided him with seemed to ware off especially when Doctor Reynolds pressed on his stomach. It hurt like a bitch and this time Ryan didn't care that he was yelling out obscenities. He would apologize to Kirsten afterwards.

"Try to calm down," the doctor said when Ryan had squirmed long enough on the cot. "You will only hurt yourself if you keep bouncing around."

"But...but it...it hurts." The tears were very close by now and the blonde had to do everything in his power not to break down and cry. There were no immediate response and to Ryan's demise the doctor kept on examining him.

"How long have you felt sick?"

"I...I don't. don't know," Ryan mumbled, suddenly too exhausted to answer any questions. Beside it was the truth, he had no idea how long since the whole day had been nothing but a blur to him.

"Let me rephrase it," the doctor said with a sigh. "How long have you had the stomach ache?"

Ryan thought for a moment while trying to ignore the burning feeling in his side. "Since...since yesterday I think...or...or was it the day before?"

To be frank he had no idea how much time had passed and that it was yesterday that he'd been at school seemed like an eternity now.

"That's the truth," Kirsten filled in. "I knew that Ryan wasn't feeling okay the day before yesterday but I thought that it was more a case of an upset stomach."

The teenager blushed. It was embarrassing that Kirsten had figured out that the reason for his sudden bathroom breaks was because he had a case of the runs, to put it mildly. Sometimes he wondered how her hawk eyes could see everything. His own mom had been blind as a bat. The boys could have been nearly passing out in front of her but she wouldn't notice it at all. Kirsten however took in everything, sometimes even more than he wanted her to see. Seth had once told him that it was because her mind was set on the "mom's radar". Something that Dawn definitively lacked!

The prodding went on much too long for Ryan's liking and when he thought that he couldn't stand it any longer the doctor said, "I'm afraid that your situation has been a bit complicated due to the fact that your appendix has already burst."

Kirsten let out a gasp but Ryan already knew that it was the truth. He could almost feel the puss swishing around inside of him. Gagging the thought of this made him feel nauseous and before he could count to two he found himself heaving over a curved metal bowl.

The burning sensation grew even worse than before.

"Oh honey try to take a slow deep breath," Kirsten cajoled him when the dry heaving wouldn't stop and he was panting for air. Slowly Ryan was coming to his senses again and following his foster mother's advice he did his best to calm down. The nurses were by his side now too and while they helped him to lay down he heard Kirsten barking out to the doctor.

"This boy needs surgery. What are you waiting for?" She sounded annoyed.

"We need to do an X-ray first of his abdomen so we know what we're dealing with," the doctor calmly explained while he was scribbling down something on a paper. Then he told one of the nurses, "Take this note down to lab and bring me back these tests. STAT."

The burning sensation was getting worse by the second and Ryan felt it was best that he told them how bad he felt, just in case they thought about getting on his hair for hiding his symptoms.

The news wasn't as good as he'd hoped for and soon he heard the doctor say, "I don't have time to wait for the X-rays to be done. We need to get this patient to surgery right now."

After that last sentence something happened and Ryan felt himself being whisked away in such hurry that Kirsten had a hard time keeping up. Turning his head he saw that she was running after him in the corridor and he stretched out a hand to reach for her. If there was one thing he needed right now it was someone by his side and Kirsten was the best he could think of.

"Ryan hold on." Kirsten called out to him as they whisked him away on the stretcher towards the surgery. It was all happening so fast that once again it felt as if he was in the midst of a dream. It was all so surreal.

"I'm sorry mam but you can't go in there. It's a restricted area for personnel only."

Two big doors opened up for him and the orderly pushed him inside. Ryan could hear someone telling Mrs Cohen that she wasn't allowed to come into surgery and he wanted to yell to them that he needed her. Yet he kept quiet. He wasn't a baby after all.

Two strong orderlies lifted him onto a cot and soon he saw Dr Reynolds face come into view. "I'm sorry Ryan that you had to wait so long, but it's really busy over at ER tonight." He gave him a gentle smile. "Anyway were going to perform surgery on your stomach and then you will feel better in no time."

The burning sensation was starting to get to him and Ryan fidgeted restlessly on the coat. He felt so sick all of a sudden and he was sure that he was going to throw up. A metallic taste filled his mouth and before he could follow what was happening his stomach revolted once again and a thick substance poured out from his mouth.

"His throwing up. Turn him to the side... NOW!"

Ryan felt hands grabbing him, rolling him over to the side. The taste was making him want to choke but it was nothing compared to the words that followed.

"His throwing up blood!"

"Shit! Come on people...We have to open up this kid... asap..." The surgent barked out orders in such a speed that Ryan got dizzy. He felt something being placed over his mouth and soon there were a strange smell and a warm tingling sensation while his body and mind drifted off into oblivion.

With that Ryan passed out; completely dead to the world.


	9. Merry Xmas Ryan Atwood Chapter 9

Thank you so very much for all your wonderful reviews. I'm so happy that so many reads the story and sends feedback :) Thank you once again. Also the biggest shout out to Mistykid who has once again helped me out. Thanks hun, you're the best!Okay and now on to the chapter...

There was a deafening silence in the waiting room.

Kirsten, Sandy and Seth sat on the sofas, waiting for news on Ryan's condition but so far they had heard nothing. Sandy had tried telling them that no news was good news but - for obvious reasons - his family weren't buying it. Seth, who was dosing on and off, hadn't said much ever since they reached the hospital and Kirsten guessed that it was because he was still shocked over how fast Ryan's health had deteriorated. She was just as worried as the rest of the family, she didn't know if she could keep up her calm posture for much longer.

The clock on the wall seemed to move in slow motion. Almost two hours had passed since Ryan went into surgery and they were all starting to become very concerned.

"What's taking them so long?" Kirsten asked, now pacing back and forth on the floor as if it would provide her with some comfort - at least it was something to do.

"They should've been out by now." This whole situation was really keeping her on the edge.

"Calm down honey," Sandy said, patting on the seat next to him. "Come here. Sit down. It won't do you any good if you keep pacing around like that."

Kirsten opened her mouth to reply when Seth cut her short. "Yeah Mom, listen to dad. He's right you know. It won't help Ryan at all if you start to panic. He'll need you when he wakes up."

She looked at her son in surprise. When had Seth become so mature? With a sigh she did as they wanted and sat down, only to stand up minutes later.

"No Sandy, I can't relax," she complained when he grabbed her arm. "Let me go."

"You want me to get you some coffee mom?" Seth asked when his fathers attempt to calm down her failed miserably.

"No." She shook her head and then sat down again, this time head in her hands. "It's just that they are taking way too long. Didn't they say that it would take around an hour and now it has almost passed two hours?"

She mumbled, "There is bound to be complications, otherwise he'd be out by now."

Sandy, still making small attempts to help his wife feel hopeful, said, "Honey, I'm sure that Ryan will be just fine and he..." Her husband didn't get to finish his sentence before she interrupted him.

"How can you be so sure? After all they told me that it was his appendix that burst and that is a serious not to say dangerous complication. He can die." She sobbed.

Sandy placed a hand over her wife's shaking shoulders. "Yes he can," he said slowly, "but I just know that he won't. This is a first class hospital and Ryan is getting the best care that there is. Besides the doctor said that we caught it in time, that's what you told us."

"Mom it's true. If Ryan was some dude living in the Wild West on the 19th century it would be a different story...yeah even if he lived somewhere out in Africa and got sick. But we're in Newport where they have the best medical help and the doctors probably fix burst appendixes hundreds of times."

Kirsten couldn't help but smile. Her son and husband were doing their best to make her feel less nervous, yet they were in the same situation as her. Just as worried.

Wiping the tears that had rolled down her cheeks with a tissue she said, "You're both right. I'm just being silly worrying like this when we don't even know if there have been any complications." Just as she ended her last sentence Doctor Reynolds came into the room, dressed in a pair of clean scrubs.

"You're waiting for information about Ryan Atwood I presume?" the bald man asked as he reached out a hand, "Doctor Donald Reynold. I'm the one that preformed the surgery on your foster son."

While Sandy greeted him formally Kirsten wasted no time in asking, "How is he? How's Ryan?" She sounded tense as if she were preparing for the worst."

"Your foster son is doing as well as can be expected in the circumstances."

"Circumstances? What circumstances?" This time it was Seth that was doing the talking and Kirsten would've hushed him down if she wasn't so worried about what the surgeon had to say.

"Like I said he is doing well. When he came into surgery we found that his appendix had burst just like we suspected. After opening him up we found that an infection had already set in and he was experiencing symptoms for peritonitis."

"That peri...peritron...," Seth started when he gave up, "Oh heck whatever it's called."

He could see his parents displeased eyes but ignored them, "Is that dangerous?"

"It can be." Doctor Reynolds ran his hand over his face in a tired gesture. Seeing the worried faces he quickly went on, "Luckily we think we caught it on time and Ryan has been given antibiotics to prevent any further infection."

Even though the news was not all that good Kirsten breathed out a sigh of relief. But when Doctor Reynolds went on about Ryan's condition she suddenly paled.

"There were a slight complication; Ryan vomited some blood which told us that he was bleeding inside his stomach."

"Throwing up blood?" Sandy paled.

"Yes. When we opened him up we found that there was a rip inside his stomach and that was the reason for the bleeding. We gave Ryan a blood transfusion since he lost quite a bit during surgery and as long as there won't be any further complications, which we don't expect, we expect Ryan to make full recovery." The doctor added that at full speed when he saw how devastated the parents looked.

"Oh that's good news." Kirsten was at once calmer than before. "Will we be able to go and see him now?"

The doctor shook his head, "I'm sorry but Ryan is still in recovery, but as soon as he is fit to be moved he'll get his own room and then you will be able to visit him. However I need to inform you that he is still weak, both from the surgery and infection and he won't be able to have long visits."

"But I'm his mother. I need to see him now. Ryan needs me I have to be with him." While Sandy did his best to calm her down it was causing the opposite reaction and she more or less yelled, "Take me to Ryan. I need to be with him now. He's my son."

"Kirsten calm down," Sandy barked harshly, he turned Kirsten around and placed his arm around her shoulders in a protective way.

"You have to forgive my wife," he apologized. "She's a bit shocked with everything that has happened tonight. You see we were at this charity event when our son." he nodded at Seth who blankly looked his way.

"Seth here called and informed us that Ryan was very ill and from then on everything happened so fast and next thing we knew he was in surgery.

"Yes," The doctor nodded. "Burst appendix can happen rather fast, but judging from the infection that had set in it looks like Ryan have been ill for a while. I would say that his appendix burst sometime this morning or later on in the day.

"This morning?" To Seth this was big news. "But Ryan wasn't all that sick. He just said that he had an upset stomach, that's all."

"Sometimes there aren't clear symptoms for appendicitis and a stomach ache with nausea is all that there can be. It can take a while for the symptoms to erupt."

The doctor paused for a moment, "Did Ryan complain that his side hurt? His right side."

Upon hearing these words Kirsten paled once more. "Oh my God." She put her hand over her mouth. "Why didn't I think of that?"

"Think of what?" Sandy asked. When his wife didn't answer right away he pressed on, "Think of what Kirsten? What are you talking about?"

"When Ryan helped me carry in the Christmas tree I noticed that he was limping but when I asked about it he said that he had probably strained himself at practice. "

"Ryan didn't have practice today mom," Seth filled in.

"Oh God, why did I have him carry that Christmas tree. It probably made it worse." Kirsten felt so guilty that she didn't know what to do.

The doctor who seemed to think that he'd spent way too much time talking about his patient condition looked impatiently at his watch before saying, "Right square quadrant pain is one of the ruling symptoms in appendicitis and your foster son probably thought that he had stretched himself since the symptoms are rather similar in the beginning. However there is no reason for you to feel bad about it since the burst of the appendix can happen at any time, even when there are no physical activities."

At that moment a nurse appeared in the waiting room, she said something to the surgeon who apologized and told them that he had to leave. Kirsten didn't pay much attention but Sandy thanked for the information that they received and they were told that a nurse would come to get them when Ryan was settled in his room.

After the doctor left Kirsten seemed to relax a little, but still she had so much guilt over not noticing that Ryan was as sick as he was. If it had been Seth it would've been another story. She knew her own son like the back of her hand, if not better. Ryan however had rarely been ill and if he had he was never one to tell her about it. There had been a few occasions during the year that he'd been staying with them, but they were very few and when they occurred he'd spent his time pent up in the pool house.

No matter how much she tried she could never figure out Ryan's distance to comfort.

"If only he'd said something," she went on whimpering. "If he'd only said that he wasn't feeling well."

"Would it make any difference?"

Looking up she was met with her sons brown eyes.

"What do you mean by that?" Kirsten did her best to steady her voice and Sandy looked at Seth annoyed.

"Just like I said mom. I asked you if there would be any difference if you knew that he was ill."

"Of course it would." Sandy answered for his wife before giving out a reprimand. "That is no way to talk to your mother Seth. You should know better." "What I mean is that you both were just thinking of your job and then the charity. You all forgot that it's the day before Christmukka. The day when we're suppose to stay together as a family and it's the day when we're watching movies and eating popcorn..." He paused. "Together!"

"What does that have to do with anything?" Sandy's eyes darkened.

"All I'm saying is that if you guys hadn't gone to that charity event then something like this wouldn't have happened."

Sandy frowned while Kirsten listened with a sad expression on her face. "So you're saying that Ryan's appendicitis wouldn't have happened if we just stayed at home?" His father was doing his best to remain calm.

"In a way...yes. Then you would've picked up his symptoms much earlier and then Ryan wouldn't have to pretend that he was feeling fine just to please you guys." The words hit hard and Seth could see his mother's eyes glistening with tears.

Sandy however was not impressed. "I'm surprised that you still manage to find a way of expressing how disappointed you are that we broke the tradition - you can see how upset it's making your mom."

Seth shrugged as he listened to his dad reprimand him. He had to admit that it was bad timing, but on the other hand he thought that part of the guilt both his parents experienced was out of the healthy nature. After all they were the ones that had put a charity event before both tradition and their children's health!

Surprisingly it was Kirsten who was the first one to snap out of the funk that they were all in.

"What has been done can't be undone and we need to live with it. But today is Christmas. A holiday when we're not suppose to arguing and instead be grateful for the family that we got."

She gave her son a hug. "I love you Seth and you know that." A kiss on his forehead. "It's been a long night we're all very tired and should go home to get a few hours of rest before it's time to go in an visit Ryan.

Seth was the first one to object, telling his parents that he wasn't tired at all and that he wanted to be there for Ryan when he woke up. The not tired part didn't persuade his parents, especially not since he was white as a sheet and looked about ready to pass out.

"Kirsten, you and Seth should go home," Sandy suggested. "Like you said; it's been a very long and tiresome night and I would feel better if you went to bed. I'll stay in case Ryan wakes up."

He waited for his wife to object to his suggestion, especially since she'd been very firm about wanting to see Ryan. To his surprise she did no such thing, it was clear that today's event had taken a toll both on their body and mind.


	10. Merry Xmas Ryan Atwood Chapter 10

**Thank you for all wonderful reviews...I'm so happy that you keep reading the story. Also a BIG thank you to Misty who keeps being the most awesome beta reader there is and is always there for me when I need her. THANK U GIRL! Okay now on with the story ...**

The first time Ryan wakened a white angel sat beside him, patting his face and asking him to wake up. 

Confused and dizzy he asked, "Am I dead?"

The angel looked at him, then smiled, "No honey." She stroked the sweaty bangs away from his forehead. "But you're very sick and need all the rest you can get."

'Good,' he thought while closing his eyes again. 'Now I can sleep.'

The second time he woke up a woman was sitting by his side reading a book.

"Kirsten?" he asked his voice no more than a whisper.

The woman immediately put her book down on her lap and turned her attention to him.

"Oh hey Ryan. It's good to see you awake." She seemed genuinely pleased.

Ryan blinked. Who was she? What was she doing in his pool house?

"You're not Kirsten?" he asked slowly while trying to get the cobwebs to leave his head.

"No honey, I'm Liza and I'll be looking after you while you're here in ICU."

Nurse? ICU? This woman had to be crazy. He did his best to sit up but she put her hand on his chest.

"No Ryan you need to lay still. You just had surgery and moving would be a bad idea right now."

Surgery? This was starting to sound stranger by the second, especially since he didn't hurt anywhere. Didn't you have to be very sick or hurt when you had surgery? Not like how he felt now, as if he were flying up in the clouds?

There were so many questions but Ryan felt too weak to ask any of them. Instead he blinked again, doing his best to handle the dizziness that threatened to get worse any second.

Nurse Liza must have sensed his agitation since she said, "I know it can be very confusing, almost terrifying to wake up, but that's just normal. The drugs you were given make sure you don't have to be in any pain."

Ryan looked at the woman, feeling very confused and disoriented. Drugs? He'd never used drugs, okay so he'd tried pills and pot before but never liked them. It made his head all mushy - that was a feeling he could live without. When he didn't say anything back she went on in surprise.

"Oh sweetie I didn't think of it. You don't remember what happened do you?"

Slowly Ryan shook his head a little since moving it too much made him feel dizzy. He was also starting to get very tired and his eyelids were so heavy that he had a hard time holding them up, yet he wanted so desperately to know what was wrong with him.

"You've had your appendix taken out and now you're here in ICU so we can watch you and prevent any further complications."

Complications? What complications? Ryan wanted to ask questions but suddenly just opening his mouth proved to be a too hard of a task and he mumbled tiredly. "Sleep."

Nurse Liza had to be a mind reader since she said with a light tone, "You know Ryan it would be good for you if you went back to sleep."

He nodded, closing his eyes, feeling sleep wrap up around him like a cocoon, and soon he drifted off to a restless sleep where strange dreams haunted him.

The third time Ryan woke up a man sat beside him.

A man that he knew very well.

It was Sandy.

He opened his mouth to make a noise, telling his foster father that he was awake when a sudden dizziness swept over him making him so nauseous that all he managed was a moan.

This got Sandy's immediate attention.

"Ryan?" he asked with a concern voice. "You alright? Are you in any pain? You want me to get someone?"

If he hadn't felt so bad he would've smiled at Sandy's question. As if he was in any state to answer them now. Instead he concentrated on getting the nausea to die down.

He swallowed hard - willing the contents to stay put where they belonged - in his stomach. The older man must have noticed that not everything was alright and before Ryan knew, a curved steel bowl was placed beside the pillow on the bed.

Opening his mouth to tell Sandy that everything was fine - he didn't need it, his stomach suddenly convulsed and he found himself leaning over the bedpan, heaving wildly. It all proved to be in vain and all he did was start crying, both from pain and exhaustion.

"That's it kid. Let it all out. I'm here beside you." Sandy encouraged softly, while he stroked his foster sons back soothingly. "Don't fight it."

The dry heaving was so harsh that Ryan feared he would break a vessel or even worse burst his stitches. Whimpering he finally managed to produce a small line of yellowy/green bile. His stomach hurt so much and he held it tight while lying back down on the pillow. It was embarrassing to cry but at the same time crying in front of Sandy felt rather good – not as weird as he'd thought it would be.

In the Atwood household it had never been okay to show such emotions, if you didn't include his mom's emotional breakdowns either being guilty of drinking and calling herself a bad mother or when one of her "nice" boyfriends had left her.

Ryan had learned how to bite his lip and take the beatings that the men in his mom's life provided him. They called him a pussy if he as much as whimpered, but the worst thing was that he had to show himself up as weak for his mother who needed and depended on him so much. Who else would be there cleaning up after her when Trey had taken his things and moved out of the house at sixteen years old.

Ryan could still remember the day Trey moved away from home as if it happened yesterday.

He had just come home from school and as he walked up the front path the angry voices of his mom's boyfriend and Trey could be heard all over the neighbour hood.

Ryan stiffened hesitating trying to decide if he should open the door or not. He didn't have to do because the door slammed open and his older brother rushed out from the house .Yelling that they could all fuck themselves, that he didn't give a shit about anyone and he could manage on his own.

David responded that he better get the hell out of here or he would knock him out.

Even though it was a long while ago he could still feel the fright that washed over him.

He had run towards his brother, who was bleeding from a large wound on his head. Ryan begged him to stay and not go but Trey had just shrugged Ryan's hands off. "Get away punk. I don't want to see you anymore. Leave me alone."

Ryan had cried asking him, begging him to stay with him. Not to go away but it had been futile. Totally horrified that David had forced his brother away he had gone inside the house, screaming at his mother's boyfriend. Only to be knocked around enough to have a severe concussion.

That night Ryan had cried himself to sleep.

He hadn't cried ever since; not until now...

No matter how hard he tried to stop nothing would work. It was as if all his pent up emotions wanted out and he was almost choking on the tears that rolled down his cheeks. Sandy looked devastated as if he wanted to help Ryan but couldn't find a way to do it.

"You're in that much pain kid?" his foster father asked when the teenager let out a low moan. Sandy stroked his back to sooth the pain but nothing seemed to help. He looked devastated over not being able to do anything to make Ryan feel comfortable.

Too weak to say anything Ryan nodded slowly. His stomach hurt really badly and he felt as if his whole body was burning up. The nausea lingered too, threatening to attack whenever it got a chance. All in all he felt very miserable.

Closing his eyes he willed himself to get some rest but he was feeling way too uncomfortable and instead moved on restlessly until Sandy decided to take on some action.

"That's it," he said after Ryan let out another low moan. "I'm going to get a doctor. This can't be right."

Before the young man had a chance to object Sandy was out of the door.

Ryan sighed. He was way too tired to have to deal with any tests or further examinations at this very moment. All he wanted was being able to fall asleep again and wake up feeling just fine again.

Suddenly he felt something cold pressing on his stomach. Jerking up Ryan let out a yelp.

Pain spread through his body and he was going to kick whatever was pressing on his stomach when "I'm sorry for that Ryan," was heard.

Confused the teen blinked several times and then looked up to see a doctor, not much older than Trey standing there, his blue eyes looking down at his patient, concerned.

"Oh hi there," a smile crept up on his face. "I'm Doctor Stevens and I'm the one that's on call tonight."

Ryan blanked. As if he cared!

"I need to take a look at your incisions since you seem to be in a great deal of pain. Is that correct?"

A nod.

"Okay good." The doctor continued to press down on his stomach. "I want you to tell me where it hurts when I press down. Okay? Can you do that for me?"

Did this doctor think he was a kid? Annoyed he mumbled, "Mmmm."

He steeled himself for the examination to begin - for the pain to grow even worse.

"Okay let's start then."

The examination couldn't be over soon enough and when the doctor finally took his hands from Ryan's belly the teenager was in absolute in tears. He felt someone sit down beside him but he didn't dare to open his eyes in case that would mean more pain but to his relief he heard Sandy's voice whispering to him.

"You did great Kiddo. You did great."

Ryan felt like a wuss. Here he was crying again like a baby and he didn't know how to make it stop or what to do. He didn't even know where all of these emotions came from, being worse than a hormonal woman.

"I know you're in pain Ryan and I'm going to administer something stronger for you so you can relax. If you start to feel worse, if the pain increases I want you to tell us immediately. For now the incisions looks good but you have been through quite an ordeal and sometimes the body takes a while to restore itself. Meanwhile there can be some side effects such as the pain you're experiencing, nausea and vomiting." The nurse paused before she went on, "I can see that you're a bit shocked over this, and there are so many emotions your feeling that's perfectly natural after an operation."

Ryan was too tired to answer and instead Sandy filled in for him. "How long do you expect him to feel like this?"

The teenager wanted to thank his foster father but all he could muster was a face that looked more like he was constipated than a smile.

"Normally the pain decreases during the first twenty four hours while the body is adjusting...but." The doctor frowned. "In Ryan's case there were some complications as I'm sure you're well informed that he's been diagnosed with peritonitis. This means that we had to, during surgery, insert a tube that will drain the abdominal cavity of any pus."

Ryan felt nauseous at the thought - he had a tube sticking out from his body and his hand traced down on his belly. Noticing this the doctor went on, "It's a standard procedure Ryan and as soon as we can be sure that there won't be any further complications we can take it out. As you can see it's just a small hole and it's draining through a small bag at the side of your stomach."

Now he felt positively ill and Sandy was the one to first spot the change of colour in his sons face. "I think...I think we're going to need the bedpan again," he said as he stretched to hold up the curved bowl.

He was just in time for Ryan's stomach to contract painfully again and the heaving to start. Once the worst bout was over the older man turned towards the doctor. "Isn't there anything you can give him for the nausea?"

The doctor had observed the violent dry heaving and was scribbling down the symptoms on his note pad. "I'll see what I can do, however," he added, "I'm not too thrilled that Ryan will receive more medications since it's harder to monitor any symptoms which might indicate an infection."

He paused, "I'm sure that you're aware there was a slight bleed caused by the peritonitis. Fortunately we've managed to stop it but I am going to want to keep a close eye in case anything indicates an infection."

Sandy listened but Ryan could see the concern in his foster father's dark eyes. If he wasn't so exhausted he would've asked questions himself. For now he could be grateful that it was the older man asking the questions and he only had to listen with half an ear.

"And what about his fever?"

"His on antibiotics for now and as soon as the infection clears up his fever will lessen too."

Turning to Ryan the doctor went on, "I know that you feel very sick right now and I will try to help you out so you can relax and be able to fall asleep."

He gestured towards the nurse that had come into the room. She was holding a tray of shots and Ryan could feel his skin crawl; he'd never liked shots.

"You'll be given a shot of morphine that will take the edge off the pain and if the nausea doesn't ease up you'll receive compazine too but for now I want to wait and see how you're doing. It's very common to feel a bit ill after receiving anaesthetic and the operation you had was quite complicated."

Before the young doctor left he patted Ryan's hand, "I'm sorry I have to attend to another patient but I will be back later on to see how you're doing."

With these words he nodded a goodbye towards Sandy before hurrying out of the room leaving Ryan alone with the nurse and Sandy.

"This will make you relax." The nurse said as she injected the shot into his IV line.

Ryan nodded. All he wanted was the pain to go away so he could rest.

"However you will feel a burning sensation in your body, but it's nothing dangerous it'll pass in a few seconds."

At that very moment the teenager let out a gasp. It felt as if his veins were burning up and he grabbed for Sandy's hand for some comfort. His foster father held him tight and whispered that everything would be alright and it would be better if Ryan didn't fight it - he would be able to relax in no time.

They had been right. Soon the burning sensation passed and Ryan was able to hide a yawn behind his hand. He was suddenly feeling more tired than he had let on and he closed his eyes. Fatigue was setting in and the medication was doing its work. Soon his whole body went numb and he had a hard time holding his eyelids open. Part of him wanted to talk to Sandy, tell him that he was just fine - there was nothing to worry about.

The other part was too tired to say anything at all. A shiver ran though his body and he instantly shuddered from the cold

"You cold son?" Sandy asked as he placed a blanket over his body.

Ryan nodded mutely.

"I'm sure that you'll feel better once you get some sleep." Sandy stroked his forehead with his large rough hands. "You're still a bit too warm. This day has been exciting enough and you need all the rest that you can get."

Ryan nodded. It was true. Still he felt very sick but he knew that the key to getting well again was to get some sleep. With that in mind Ryan closed his eyes, hoping that sleep would come as soon as possible.

Deep inside there was another hope; that Sandy or Kirsten would be by his side when he woke up again.

Just like real parents do when their kids are sick.


End file.
